God Archives - Page 11 of 15 - Kristen Anne Glover

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Plans {Day 21}

The beginning is a great place to start! Click here for Day 1.

I know of a young woman who planned great things for her life. She was simple and came from humble surroundings, but like all girls her age, big dreams filled her heart. She thought about getting married and having a home of her own. She dreamed about rocking babies and raising a slew of children with the man she loved.

Then one day, all those plans seemed to fall apart. She was pregnant. She! The good girl, the one who always did everything right, she was going to have a baby. It wouldn’t matter that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t do anything wrong—people would look at her differently. People would always wonder, maybe even her beloved.

All the plans in her heart came crashing down.

Yet somehow, she still trusted that God was directing her steps, and that God was leading her to the best possible place. When the circumstances of her life seemed most terrifying, she said, “I am the bondslave of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

Her name was Mary, and the interruption of her plans involved the birth of our Savior. It was a plan that guaranteed her humiliation and removed her security. But she embraced it wholeheartedly.

Every time I read of Mary’s response to the Lord’s interruption to her life, I am astounded. She understood that her life was not her own, and she held her plans loosely in her hands.

I am not that way.

Many of my most frustrating parenting moments have come about because my plans have failed and I have not reacted by opening my hands to God’s new purposes. I do not always allow Him to direct my steps without a struggle, and I can’t seem to enjoy my children if the plan changes mid-morning or fails altogether.

Sometimes, the plans that fail are ordinary, like my plan to get to church on time that is derailed by children who do not eat fast enough or get dressed quickly enough. Sometimes, the plans I have are bigger, like the plan to buy a house, change jobs or balance a budget. What happens when the house falls through, the job doesn’t manifest, or an unexpected expense kills the budget? I usually fail to see God’s purposes in my failed plans.

Many, many, many are the plans in my heart. But it is God’s way to mess with the plans of men, to take us from a place of self-confidence and lead us to a place of faith. We see it Moses, who planned to fade into obscurity but was led instead to a burning bush in the middle of a desert and into a ministry he never wanted. We see it in Joseph, who planned to live a comfortable life under his father’s blessing, but ended up rotting in captivity in Egypt while his brothers got away with murder. We see it in Jacob, who planned to marry the pretty daughter. But he got the other one instead.

In every single one of these instances, God was found in the change of plans. God was leading His child to the place where He was.

It is important to understand that God does not lead us where He does not intend to meet us. He did not do it to our forefathers, and He does not do it to us. But we must hold His hand and walk by faith to get there.

Think of Abraham, who had to climb up the mountain with wood and a knife and the child of promise, the boy they had named Laughter for the remarkable way God had brought him about. Abraham had to be willing to let go of his own dreams and climb up the mountain in faith in order to see the hand of God in what seemed to be an unholy change of plan. If he had not gone, he would have missed it.

When your plans go awry, make it a practice to look for the presence of God. He has not led you into the wilderness to die; He has led you into the wilderness to show you a bush aflame with His glory. He has led you there to show you water from a rock and manna from heaven. He is there, waiting for you to take off your shoes, open your hands, and say, “Be it unto me according to your plan.”

If God is directing you steps, it means He is near enough to hold your hand. He is near enough to keep your steps from falling even though the path is uncharted. He stands next to you with the pot of burning oatmeal or the unexpected bill and He says to you, “Look for me here!”

Can you see God in the unexpected places today? Can you see Him in the change of plans or the interrupted schedule? If you can open your hands and walk in faith the place God has planned for you, you will find greater peace and contentment because that is where God is.

The mind of man plans his way. But the LORD directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For further thought:

1) Think of an instance when God has allowed you to go through a change of plans in order to lead you to a better place. How did God protect or provide for you by allowing your plans to fail?

2) Read the birth story of Jesus in Luke 1. Would you have been able to respond the way Mary did? How can you be more open to God’s will today?

3) Memorize Proverbs 16:9. Encourage yourself with those words when it seems that all your plans are coming undone. Then, look for God in the place where He leads.

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Food {Day 20}

New to the series? Find Day 1 here.

According to the paperwork, Rosario was three years old when the authorities delivered her to the orphanage gates late one night. Her frail little body did not seem old enough to be three. She was so malnourished, her feet fit into newborn baby shoes.

Rosario’s big, black eyes were the only thing that betrayed her age. They were not innocent like baby eyes. Those eyes had seen too much.

Immediately, we went to the kitchen to find food for Rosie. The older children gathered around, delighted to be able to watch this starving little girl eat, delighted to be able to help fill her stomach for the first time in her life.

Rosario’s empty black eyes stared blankly at the plate. She did not know what to do with it. She flinched at the spoon when I tried to feed her.

I had been to the shanty town where Rosario had been found. I had seen the makeshift structures next to the railroad tracks where whole families tried to survive. I had seen the children crawling on the garbage heaps, barefoot, bleeding, and hungry. Most of their waking hours were spent in the pursuit of food.

We learned that often, Rosario’s family had absolutely nothing to eat. They mixed sugar water and fed it to the little girl to keep her from screaming with hunger.

When I came back to the States, I experienced a bit of culture shock, not because things were so very different, but because they were so much the same. We are suffering from malnutrition, from chronic exposure to poor and insufficient food choices, and our children are bearing the consequences.

The only difference is, we do it willingly.

Most people know that food impacts human health and behavior. That’s why most women improve their diets as soon as they find out they’re pregnant. They give up coffee, eat more protein, drink more water, and consume large amounts of prenatal vitamins. Why do they do that? Because they know they only get one chance to grow that baby, and most women want to do it right.

But babies don’t stop growing once they come out of the womb. That little body will continue to grow and develop for years. Even as an adult, that child will need proper nutrition to perform optimally, avoid illness, and feel her best. Yet most parents do not remain as fastidious about their child’s nutrition as they were in the first nine months of life even though they know that children are impacted by what they eat.

The problem is, we are unwilling to use our great knowledge, incredible wealth, and unprecedented access to healthy food to make different choices for ourselves or our children. We line up our minivans in the McDonald’s drive thru to purchase “food” that is counter- nutritional because it is convenient to us and has the benefit of making our kids feel full with the least amount of work or drama.

We willingly give them their daily dose of sugar water.

We see the results in the way our children behave. When my children eat poorly, they act poorly. Their bodies simply cannot handle a rush of sugar, preservatives, or artificial, processed garbage that is in most of the food targeted at children. Their systems are overwhelmed and they act accordingly.

When I feed them garbage because it is convenient for me, and then expect them to behave as if they have been nourished properly, I am not loving them. I am exasperating them.

I am being too harsh, surely. Perhaps I do not understand how hard it is to cook every day or work or take care of children. Perhaps I do not understand how much it costs to purchase unprocessed or fresh foods. Perhaps I do not understand that children would much prefer to eat a French fry than a baked sweet potato.

I understand the struggle. I am in the struggle. But I also know this:

Americans spend nearly five hours a day watching TV and less than half-an-hour a day preparing food.

Americans spend less than 10% of their income on food, the lowest percentage in the entire world. However, we spend about 5.6% of our total income on fast food, the highest percentage in the world.

Over the past 40 years, Americans have increased their caloric intake by over 500 calories a day. Only 13 of those extra calories came from fruits and vegetables.

25% of the vegetable calories most American children consume come from French fries or potato chips.

Americans spend over $110 billion dollars annually on fast food.

I just can’t accept the fact that we, privileged Americans, can’t do any better than that. I think we can. My conviction is this: we should use our resources to purchase and prepare the best food we can afford for our families. It is one of the great privileges and obligations of living with enough.

By “best,” I do not mean the most expensive. Eating well does not mean living richly. It means making deliberate, often simplified choices so your money buys more nutrition. It means refusing to trade your health for the sake of convenience. It means making the choice to feed your kids in a way that continues to build their bodies and sets them up for long-term health. It means guarding your energy by eating things that make you more alive, and refusing to eat the things that will cause you to crash an hour down the road.

I know it is overwhelming. Start small. Start with yourself. Cut out the foods that impact you negatively so that you can have the energy you need to enjoy your children. Start with the white stuff: sugar, white flour, white rice, etc. You may not even realize how these empty calories rob you of energy until you let them go. Start today.

Then, become educated. We have resources and options that other countries simply do not have. Use them.

It has taken me ten years to acquire the knowledge and resources I now have to make good food choices for my family. We have had a very limited budget and very little time, but by the grace of God, the best I can do today is better than the best I could do ten years ago.

And I am still learning. I read books, watch videos, scour websites. I search craigslist for the equipment I need to make fresh foods. I beg friends for the extra produce from their gardens and orchards so we can eat better. I grow fruits and vegetables in my small yard so the kids have the pleasure of eating the things we planted. There is a way!

Feed your children deeply. Nourish yourself richly. You will find that you enjoy your family more because of it.

Join us tomorrow for Day 21

1) Colossians 3:21 encourages us not to exasperate our children. How does this passage relate to the way we provide them with the resources (including food) to feel and act their best?

2) Take some time to educate yourself on the food problem in America. Check out the movies Food, Inc., Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and Fast Food Nation. Exolore websites such as 100 Days of Real Food, Cheeseslave, and many more. Purchase and read the book Nourishing Traditions. Check out Azure Standard for economical sources of real food. Leave your best real food sources in the comments below so we can all learn and grow together.

3) Make a commitment to change one food habit in your home for the better. What can you do today to nourish your family more deeply?

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Rest {Day 19}

Just joining us? You will find Day 1 of the series here.

When Daylight Saving Time ended about six weeks ago, I did not set my clocks back. I hate how it gets dark out at 4 pm, how my children are cranky for a week while they adjust to the new schedule, and how much more time my kids have to spend inside because night falls just as soon as they are finishing school. This year, I simply refused to participate.

We now operate by our own time.

This has worked out brilliantly for me. Using Glover Time, I never have to be out of the house before 10 am because that’s only 9 am to the rest of the Pacific Standard Time minions. My neighbors think I am an incredibly responsible person when my kitchen light turns on at 5:50 am. Yep, that’s me. Mrs. Morning Person with the five kids all dressed and memorizing Bible verses at 8 am.

The only hitch in my little rebellion against the Time Lords is Wednesday night. Wednesday night is when the kids and I go to our home group Bible study. Wednesday nights start at 7 pm in “real” time, which means we arrive at 8 pm Glover time. 8 pm Glover Time is bedtime, the only thing holy next to God. This is problematic.

But last week, I was relieve to find that the kids did not feel the least bit sleepy at the start of our home group. They did not feel the least bit sleepy when dessert was served or when the movie started. They did not feel the least bit sleepy as we drove home and counted Christmas lights.

But when we rolled in the driveway at 10:30 pm, Kya burst into tears. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t know!” she wailed. “I just feel like crying!” She could not get out of the van. She was sobbing all over her new lilac colored puffy winter coat with matching accessories.

Micah had developed a sudden paralysis as well, which was unfortunate because his seat blocks the sliding door. Everyone waited.

“I can’t waaaaaaaaaalk,” he moaned.

“Micah! Ouch, stop pushing! I can’t get out! MOM! Micah won’t move!” My older two made their contributions to our Hallmark moment.

“Micah, come here,” I said, yanking him (it was a gentle yank) out of the car and tucking him under one arm.

“Mom! Don’t hurt me!” he wailed loudly enough to cause our neighbor to come to his window to see which of my children I was beating in the driveway.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, sweetie,” I said while fishing in the van with my free arm for the missing twin. “Paul, come here,” I said.

“I so TIRED, Mom!” Paul sighed, slumping down between his seat and mine where I could not reach him.

“I know you’re tired. But you need to get of the car first and I’ll get you all tucked into bed. Come here, Paul.” Paul obeyed but his lower lip stuck out and trembled. I scooped him up in my other arm and attempted to carry both boys up the front steps, even though I am painfully—I repeat, painfully—out of practice when it comes to carrying both boys up the front steps at the same time. Kya followed me, crying like I’d just told her she isn’t a real princess.

“Don’t worry, guys,” I gasped, wondering if my kids really would dial 911 if I passed out, or if they’d just jump on me. “I’ll have you cozy in a minute.”

But it took more than a minute to get everyone in bed. Kya wept over her toothbrush. Paul collapsed in the entryway and refused to take off his shoes. Micah face-planted onto the steps leading up to the bathroom where he moaned, “I tired…I tired…I tired…” to which Faith replied, “We heard you the first time!”

It was heartwarming, really. As I crashed into bed, I realized I had not even started my blog post for the next day. Not. Even. Started. It was supposed to be on enjoying my children, and specifically, weakness. That was funny, because the last half hour, I had absolutely cherished the socks off those little dumplings.

I should write on exhaustion, I thought. But I wasn’t quite ready to talk about it yet. I was secretly terrified that I had to get up in the morning and do this all over again. I had to teach school and parent alone and be alone and try to write what was on my heart in a way that wasn’t preachy or self-righteous or…fake. Also, I hadn’t shaved my legs in at least two weeks. Suddenly, that seemed important.

Vince Lomabrdi once said, “Exhaustion makes cowards of us all.” If by “coward” he meant “paranoid schizophrenic,” then yes. That quote is spot-on. Exhaustion was wreaking havoc in my home.

The opposite of exhaustion is rest. That’s something I used to get before I had children. In fact, before I had children, I didn’t have to think about rest much at all because it was usually available to me whenever I needed it. Now, it is something I have to find.

In the Bible, rest is equated with blessing, promise, and God’s favor. It is hope for the future. But it is also a command. I used to wonder why God commanded us to rest. Rest is one of our most basic needs as human beings, like food. We need deep, daily, restorative rest. God doesn’t need to tell us that.

Or does He?

The command to rest highlights the fact that there is something in our nature that fights it. We get squirrely about going to bed on time and resting in quiet devotion to God. In fact, we tend to do everything else first. We see it in Psalm 23, where God has to make us to lie down in green pastures.

We see it also in the church. We love the Ten Commandments, except that one about the Sabbath. That one no longer applies to us today, we say, and dispose of the beauty, grace, and gift of the Sabbath along with the Law. We want to fix people by plugging them into programs or doling out Scripture verses when often what they need is rest, true physical and spiritual rest.

We see it in our homes. We stay up too late working, pushing bedtime farther and farther back while we struggle to fit more into a day than a day can hold. When we have time, we tend to equate rest and relaxation, or worse, rest and entertainment. They are not the same things.

Rest is a discipline.

It is taking the time to restore our bodies and our souls. It means going to bed on time. It means humbling ourselves in quiet reflection before God. Those two things do not happen in front of the TV or at a BBQ with the neighbors. Rest takes work.

One of the greatest things we can do to foster our enjoyment of our children is to guard our times of rest. The very practical aspect of making sure your children go to bed on time and get enough rest (note to self) will work wonders on making them more enjoyable. Ensuring your own rest time will make you more enjoyable.

When I am tempted to overextend myself and fight against rest (which is often), I think of Jesus. Throughout the New Testament, we find him slipping away, even though the crowds of needy people pressed in around him and followed him wherever he went. Imagine that. There he is, the Savior of the World, the one who can fix all their hurts, heal their diseases, raise their dead—and he leaves them with their hands outstretched so he can go take a nap.

I think Jesus knew the intimacy between body and soul. He knew it is very difficult to have a restful soul without a rested body. Rest was essential to his ministry and to his health. He understood that he could not help any of those people if he was not restored in body and spirit. So he slept. And he prayed. He took the time to rest so he was equipped to do the work God had for him.

Surely, if the Son of God can leave blind men and beggars to rest, I can leave the dishes in the sink and go to bed on time. Surely, if the Son of God can find time to pray when all the world was waiting for him to do a work, I can find the time to settle my soul down with my Savior, even if it means saying no to entertainment or relaxation or leaving before the party has ended. Surely, if the Son of God needed to rest in order to do his best for those he loved, I do as well.

He restores my soul

Please join us tomorrow for Day 20: Food

For further thought:

1) Using a tool like www.biblegateway.com, search for the word “rest.” Notice how often the word is equated with a blessing. Do you view rest as a blessing or an obligation?

2) When was the last time you restored your soul by resting in God? Today, make it a point to get away with God for ten minutes. Pray. Rest in the promises of His Word. You will find yourself more equipped to love and enjoy your children for the rest of the day.

3) How is rest like an act of faith?

Bonus: Sometimes, we don’t get the rest we think we need and it can become an idol in our lives. If you have this struggle, you might want to read Counting the Hours, a story I wrote about that very thing.

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