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Kristen Anne Glover

Five in Tow

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30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Harvest {Day 30}

The beginning is a great place to start!  Click here for Day 1.

The beginning is a great place to start! Click here for Day 1.

It doesn’t take a lot of effort to grow blackberries here.  They sprout up and creep out wherever any bird has dropped a seed.  The ditches are full of them, as are the hedgerows.  People spray them with weed killer and hire goats to eat them, but the blackberries can’t be beat.  They line every road and eat up tamed property until it’s turned wild again with thorny brambles and stone-hard green fruits.

But if the summer is warm and the fall dry, the berries on all these wild vines begin to swell and ripen until they drip down in inky clusters.  Everywhere, the air is heavy with the scent of sweet fruit and blackberry wine, and people come out with Tupperware bowls and empty ice cream buckets to forage for the makings of a pie.

My husband loves a good blackberry pie.  He starts thinking of blackberry pie around June when the brambles are in bloom and the neighbors are in full blackberry attack mode.  Mr. Greenlee is out in his yard with clippers and napalm, but Jeff is up on a ladder wearing leather gloves, carefully redirecting the willful vines through the evergreens so they’ll grow where the sun shines the brightest.  He cranes his neck when we drive past berry-laden ditches and silently makes a plan for September.

When the berries start to soften in the sun, I know there will be buckets stowed between the seats of the minivan “just in case,” and extra trips out to Jeff’s favorite berry-picking spot.  It’s right along a walking trail that follows a river past an eagle’s nest.  People come there every day to run or ride horses and to watch the osprey swoop down into the water for fish.  Sometimes there are otters or delightfully lazy snakes that slither slowly over the rocks and a boy who must remember that his mother doesn’t want him to pick blackberries with hands that stink of snake.

But rarely, very rarely, are there any other berry pickers.  We live in a place where “organic” is practically a religion and people pride themselves on eating local and composting the leftovers.  But berries?  Well, berries are just a pain to pick.

I thought about this one afternoon when Jeff led us on a berry-picking mission down the gravel path along the river.  The days had been particularly beautiful, warming the blackberries until they tasted like they’d been dipped in sugar.  But we’d already been out picking several times, and I had other things on my mind.  I did not feel like fighting the brambles and letting them claw through my jeans while I filled my bucket little by little with those frustratingly small berries.  It seemed like a waste of time, and I still had a few splinters from the last time we did it.

“It’s such a short season, Kristie,” Jeff said when he noticed my lack of enthusiasm.  “It could rain tomorrow and then it will all be over.”

It happened every year.  When the clouds in the forecast resulted in actual precipitation, the berries turned snowy with mold in a matter of hours, and that was the end of the blackberry picking.  We needed to take advantage of every sunny day that stretched into fall to fill up the buckets and gather in the harvest.

So I was silent and focused my attention on the task at hand.  Birds flew overhead, swooping bugs into their beaks, fattening up for the long flight south.  The kids chattered and hummed and filled themselves full of what was left of summer.  It was lovely, really.

Faith stood next to me, slowly picking berries, turning each one over and checking for bugs before putting it in her bucket.  “She is getting tall,” I thought.  Her tenth birthday was coming up, and I was having trouble getting my mind around it.  It’s such a short season, Kristie, I heard Jeff say, but he was far down the path with Jonathan, hacking down vines with a machete so the kids could pick the berries hiding underneath.

It’s such a short season.  It seemed to me he had said the same thing much earlier in my life, at a time when I thought my talents were better used on something other than parenting.  Foolishly, I thought God’s will for me was a little less…ordinary.  I had failed to see the shortness of the season and the richness of the fruit all around me.

I looked at Faith.  Her eyes are green, a little lighter than mine.  She smiled.  “You’re really good at picking berries, Mom,” she said.

I glanced down.  Without even realizing it, I had filled the better part of my bucket.

“I think that’s the best way to do it,” she continued.  “Just find a spot and start picking.  If you keep walking, looking for a better spot, well, first of all, you might get lost, and second of all, you won’t get very many berries.”

“I think you’re exactly right,” I said, wondering how my life would have been different if I applied that advice to other areas of my life.

“So I think it’s just best to sit right down, and don’t even worry about the ones you can’t reach.  If you can’t reach them, they’re not for you.”  She shrugged at the simplicity of the thought.

It was a hard truth to swallow.  The biggest and best berries were always just out of my reach, it seemed.  Other paths were more interesting and less full of briars and that’s why more people walked there.  That’s why I wanted to walk there.

It was foolish to sit down when the path kept on going, foolish to waste time picking berries and fighting brambles, foolish to embrace a task most people don’t want to do.  It was foolish, but it was also brave and wonderful and perfectly delightful.  Long after the vines have withered and the berries have gone, I will be enjoying the fruits of my labors.  Rich pies, cobblers and jams, and a freezer full of fruit to carry us through the winter and beyond—all because we stayed faithful to the task.  Long into winter and beyond, we will be enjoying the deep and satisfying harvest of a job well-done.

The season is short.  The work is hard.  But the result is worth it all.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Micah enjoying the fruit of the season

Thank you for joining us for this series.  It has been a (busy) joy!

Fiction, Parenting 24 Comments

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Prayer {Day 29}

Thank you for joining us!  You can find Day 1 here.

Thank you for joining us! You can find Day 1 here.

The lush green rainforest seemed to go on and on without end.  Two Philippine eagles were the only things soaring with the airplane in the cloudless blue sky.  I peered out the windows at the river that cut through the jungle and wondered what lay beneath the canopy.

Suddenly, the airstrip came into view.  I could see a cluster of small huts with woven sides and roofs.  The sound of the plane brought children running barefoot out of the houses and down dirt paths to greet the plane.

I was flying into the village to help administer some academic tests to the children of one of the missionary couples who lived and worked among the tribal people.  I had to cross the river, cut through a crowd of people who had never seen such a tall woman, and sneak past a guard monkey in order to make it into the house.

The woman who opened the door smiled warmly and hugged me fiercely with willowy brown arms.  She tucked her long brown hair behind her ears and welcomed me into her home in an easy manner that made me comfortable at once.

I talked to the children and got the tour of the house and met the monkey properly.  I learned that the children were allowed to nail things into their plank walls whenever they wanted.  From the looks of things, they did so with great frequency.  They often took breaks from school to swim in a river that had been known to harbor crocodiles and venomous snakes.

Their mother kept a hymn book propped up in the kitchen had a reputation for burning dinner because she often got distracted praying.  It was a necessary distraction, I learned, because life in the jungle had come with an uncommon cost.

Over dinner, I heard the stories of how God had worked mightily through prayer.  Deep in the jungle, with only sporadic contact with an airplane to connect them to civilization, this family had to rely on the power of prayer more than anyone I had ever met.  There had been emergency flights and near-death experiences and miraculous answers to panicked prayers.

Prayer was not optional there.  It was essential.

This mother had woven it into the fabric of her day to the point that it was nearly impossible to tell when she was praying and when she wasn’t.  I got the impression that her heart was always offering intercession because her home was filled with the fragrance of it.  She looked at her children like one who had known the joy of standing in for them in the throne room of the King.

I do not know of any other thing that binds a mother’s heart to her children like prayer.  When life is challenging and children are difficult, prayer resets the priority and connects with the eternal.

Yet I must confess I have not been so faithful in prayer as that missionary mother.  I know it is powerful.  I know it will transform my home, and yet I do not do it as often as I ought.  It is discouraging to me that I still struggle so much with being still with my God.

Then I am reminded that most of us were not born with a natural desire to pray.  It is something that must be learned.  If this were not the case, the disciples would not have had to ask how to do it.  The fact that I am not yet the woman of prayer I want to be speaks to the fact that I have not taken the time to learn.

Prayer is a discipline.  If it is not born out of adversity, it must be born out of obedience.

Sometimes, I feel compelled to pray.  I have seen the adversary and I know I am not fit for the fight.  Those are times of blessings, in a sense, because then I am happy to draw near to God and to cling to Him for strength and comfort.

Other times, I pray simply because I have been commanded to.  I do not always feel like it.  I do not always understand that I need it.  Sometimes, it feels tedious, like waiting up in the garden with my Lord when I do not realize what is happening and I cannot be bothered to stay awake for it.  Sometimes, I sleep in the most critical moments and do not pray at all.

It is a good thing that prayer is not a work of the flesh and the efficacy of my petitions does not depend on my feelings or my abilities.

Prayer is the active work of the slain Christ on my behalf, and that work is always effectual.  It is the a power of the Holy Spirit who intercedes for me when my deceived heart and stuttering lips cannot even begin to pray as I should, and that power always transforms.  It is the assurance that the One who receives my prayers always wills and works for my best and somehow, simultaneously, for the best of my children.

When I pray for my children, I invite a response from heaven, and I have never known heaven to speak without causing earth to tremble.  It is a simple conversation in which I do not speak as I should and am answered in a way I do not deserve from a God who loves me too much to just “fix things.”  Prayer is a conversation with a God who reveals, regenerates, redeems, reconciles, and restores the hearts of my family!

It is impossible to come away from a conversation like that without being changed.  It changes how I parent, how I feel about my children, and how much I enjoy the process of walking this earth with them.  When I do not pray, I do not allow God to work in me in the ways He has ordained.  I hang up the phone and prevent His healing words from breaking into the chaos.

If you are struggling to enjoy your children, look at your prayer life.  Have you developed the discipline of prayer or are you asleep in the garden?  Perhaps it is time to rekindle a conversation with God.

Prayer is where earth and heaven meet

Join us tomorrow for the final day in the series!

For further thought:

1) Someone once said that some things are so important, they’re worth doing poorly.  When it comes to prayer, this is true.  You may not be disciplined to pray the way you should.  Do not let this keep you from praying at all!  Even a very short conversation with God is better than silence.

2) The disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray and he responded with the Lord’s Prayer found in Matthew 6:9 and Luke 11:2.  If you are overwhelmed with the idea of finding time to pray, you will find it encouraging that this model prayer is so simple and brief.  Take the time to pray simply and briefly and trust the Holy Spirit to fill up what is lacking.

3) Prayer is a conversation with God.  After you pray, listen.  Wait.  Watch.  How is heaven responding to you?

Parenting 2 Comments

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Teach {Day 28}

Thank you for joining us!  You can find Day 1 here.

Thank you for joining us! You can find Day 1 here.

One of my earliest memories is of watching my dad weave a heavy nylon cord, the kind he used to tie down planes at the hangar.  He had one end of the yellow rope tied to his big red Craftsman toolbox, and with his free hands, he worked the smaller strands into one very strong cable.

As he worked, he talked to me, explaining what he was doing and why.  He taught me the pattern and let me have a turn.  My three-year-old hands were too small and the weaving was complicated, but I liked being near him and watching him work.  He smelled like metal and grease and bit of Old Spice, and I thought he was very handsome.

He was always teaching, always explaining, and always demonstrating something to me.  When he took me up in the airplane by myself, and I got to sit in the co-pilot’s seat, he made sure I knew exactly what he was doing.  He taught me how to make cookies and how to play Risk and showed me how to remove stamps from envelopes so I could start a collection just like his.  Teaching was just something he did, like breathing.

My dad died only three days after Christmas the year I turned eleven.  He pulled out onto a snowy Ohio road and never came back.  They said he died instantly in the crash, that he never felt a thing.  But we felt it.

The wake was held just a few days later, and then the funeral, when everything was hazy but real enough to be horrible.  People came up and said things to me that seemed to make them feel better, about how it was all so tragic and how there hadn’t been enough time.

It seemed the right thing to say.  His death was unexpected and heartbreaking.  He was so young.  We were so young.  There was a gaping wound where once he had been.

But in another sense, it was not tragic, and it was not too soon.  Many other people had lived much longer lives and done much less with them.  It seemed that was a greater tragedy.

In the years that followed, I have known many friends and family members who have died, but no one has ever said there was enough time.  Death always comes too soon.  I remember talking to my grandpa the summer before he died from prostate cancer.  He had lived over eighty full, fruitful years, but even he was struggling with the idea that life was closing in.  There was still so much he wanted to do, so much he wanted to say, and the living part of him could not help but grieve the fact that the dying part of him was winning.

Life is a precious thing.  Even a full, long life is over in a blink.

The tragedy comes when life is over before it ever really began, when a person fills his life with nothing but small stuff and never gets around to the things that really matter.  For parents, the tragedy comes when they save for tomorrow what should have been started today, when they bother over enjoying their children today with little regard to whether or not they will enjoy them for eternity.

That is a tragic.

But in my home, teaching us about faith was the priority.  I do not remember a time when my family did not pray around the dinner table.  I don’t remember when we started reading a chapter from the thick children’s story Bible after dinner.  I don’t remember when we started going to church or memorizing Scripture or reading missionary biographies.  I don’t remember because it always was.

My parents took seriously the charge to care for our eternal well-being by teaching us God’s Word and demonstrating real-life faith in flesh and blood right before our very eyes.  From a very young age, I understood that all of eternity hinges on matters of faith.

Keeping the commitment to godly instruction was not always easy, I’m sure.  I stomped my way into church more than once, and the busyness of life threatened the quite times with God.  But absolutely no temporal sacrifice could compare with the eternal enjoyment of each other that was born out of that faithful work.

Because of the way my parents taught me, I was able to see the hand of God even in the sorrow of my dad’s untimely death.  I remember opening my Bible on the night he died, seeking comfort in the Psalms.  His legacy, shortened though it was, carried me through the early years without him, the firsts of college and marriage and children, the uncertainty of childhood transitions and adult decisions.

The things he taught me governed how I lived, helped to determine whom I married, and even today, gives me a pattern for how I raise my kids.  My dad’s priority has had generational impact.  Even though he has never met them, his grandchildren are following in his footsteps.

He had enough time because he did not take his time for granted.

I want to parent like that.  Whether I die today or fifty years from now, I want my kids to say I had enough time, that I kept my priorities straight and I did not neglect the big things because the small things were more immediate and more demanding.  I want them to know that I did the hard things, the less enjoyable things, so that we could enjoy each other forever.

What is life, but a breath?  Yet all of eternity stretches out before us.  May we make decisions today that will ensure we can enjoy it with all of our children and the many generations to come.

In happier times

In happier times.

Please join us tomorrow for Day 29!

Start today…

1)      Take time today to explain to your children why you believe what you do.  Do they know your testimony?

2)      If you have not been faithful to teach your children, confess it.  Tell them that you have not done something you should and tell them that   you are going to start today.

3)      Pray with them today.  Even a very short prayer at dinner or bedtime leaves a lasting impression.

4)      If your children are small, get an age-appropriate children’s Bible and read a chapter a day.  One Bible storybook we love for the littles is The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name.  Older children can be read to from The New Living Translation (a very well-done modern paraphrase) or any Bible you have in the home.

5)      Find a Bible-believing church and go!

Parenting, Uncategorized 7 Comments

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I believe you can find grace for the mother you are and help to become the mother you long to be—a mom who has the freedom to choose the better things and enjoy her kids right now.

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