Bible Archives - Page 7 of 17 - Kristen Anne Glover

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Results {Day 25}

Welcome to our series! Find Day 1 here.

My oldest was a pretty stellar Terrible Two. If Terrible Twos got awards, she would have earned top prize.

One day, she asked for a snack. I said, “Sure, let’s go see what we can find.” After a few minutes of near-tantrums because I dared to suggest something she had no intention of eating ever, I offered her a slice of cheese. This made her happy. I proceeded to slice the cheese and my child turned into a raving lunatic.

“No! Not that way! Not that WAAAAAAAY!” She yelled and threw herself against the floor. Apparently, my knife skills were sub-par.

“If you behave like this, you will not get any cheese,” I said.

“NO YOU DON’T!” My little darling thrashed against the cupboards. I scooped her up and plopped her in her crib, where she continued to spiral out of control.

I stood in the living room while she banged her crib against the wall and screamed at the top of her lungs. I was stunned. I had done nothing to provoke this kind of behavior from her. In fact, I had done everything right. Still, she responded with willful disobedience. Her actions had nothing to do with my parenting skills or lack thereof. They had everything to do with the sinfulness of her heart.

Later that day, when my Terrible Two was sleeping like an angel, I thought about how parenting is like a three-legged stool. My husband and I are one leg. God is another. But my child is the third. And sometimes, my child does not want to be part of a three-legged stool. My child wants to be a Pogo stick.

All the perfectly cut cheese in the world will not make that child compliant to the desires of the other two legs.

It is in those moments, when my child is not responding to my labors with an overgrowth of the Fruit of the Spirit, that I must remember I am not in charge of the results. That is a work of God. God must change my child’s heart.

How God chooses to work in my children’s lives is sometimes messy, frustrating, and discouraging. It does not always look the way I think it should. But the results of my work do not change my calling or my commitment to parent in a godly way. I labor diligently and faithfully because God has commanded me to do so. I love God. I love my children. He does all the rest.

Sometimes, He allows me to see the fruit of my labor right away. He gives me a child with a very moldable, sensitive heart and my good parenting almost always results in immediate good fruit.

But another child may have a very different disposition. I might struggle with that child on a daily basis, and I may never see him come to obedience. My heart breaks at the thought! I am tempted to cry out to God, “Please, don’t give me a child who will not come to know you!”

I have grieved so much over the hearts of my children that it borders on idolatry. The salvation of my children, and their hearts of obedience, mean so much to me that it threatens my faith in a sovereign God. I am tempted to work for them instead of for God, to hope and trust in their goodness rather than in the goodness of God. And that is idolatry.

I must trust the sovereignty of God more than I desire the salvation or sanctification of my children. I must follow Him even if my children do not. I must work for Him regardless of whether or not my children join me in my labors and give their lives in service to Him as well.

That is a hard word. That requires a level of faith and trust that aches. I must trust in the goodness of God concerning my children, even if that means He takes them over the long, hard road. Sometimes, He lets a child suffer the consequences of having a rebellious heart. He lets that child’s hardness break him, and He lets that child’s hardness refine me.

That, I find, is the hardest thing I’ve had to trust God for.

But it is also the best thing, because if I could work for the goodness of my children, and was guaranteed of the results, I would not need faith. Parenting would become a work, and I would subject myself once again to the slavery of a law I am incapable of fulfilling. I would be lost, and so would they.

I cannot save my children. I cannot even save myself.

The beauty and the agony of the cross is that salvation, and every other good thing on this earth, is a free gift of God. It does not come as a result of my works, even the good work of faithful parenting. It only comes through the work of Christ on my behalf. That is a perfect work, the results of which are guaranteed effective. Christ’s blood always purchases those for whom He died. My children are His to save, and His to refine.

When the results of my work are not what I expected, and my goodness to my children is returned unwanted, it is an opportunity to trust that God is at work for His greater glory. I do not always understand. I do not need to. My job is simply to be a faithful servant, and leave the rest to Him.

Sometimes, good parenting results in good fruit…

…and other times, it’s just plain messy.

Please join us tomorrow for Day 26: Boundaries

For further thought:

1) Read Ephesians 2:8-9. What good work can you do to ensure the faith of you children? This is a trick question.

2) When your children display ungodly behaviors, make it a habit to thank God for showing you their sin. It is better to bring sin to light than to let it harbor in the dark. You may feel like a parenting failure when you see these things. Instead, pray for wisdom to help your child grow in these areas.

3) Consider this verse as it applies to your work as a parent: “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord, rather than for men knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” Colossians 3:23-24

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Work {Day 24}

New here? Click here to start at the beginning of the series.

The weekends were the hardest. That’s what I remember most about my first year as a mother.

The weekends were the hardest because they were the same as every other day of the week, and they were not supposed to be. Weekends were for sleeping in and lingering over breakfast and taking long walks and reading long books. Weekends were supposed to be mine.

But Saturday morning, the baby was up just as early as ever. There was laundry to be done and the grocery shopping to catch up on and meals to be made so I would be ready for the week ahead. Sunday mornings were a rush of trying to get out the door on time and keeping the baby away on the drive home so she wouldn’t mess up her afternoon nap. There was housework and homework and hardly ever a real break.

I sincerely believed I deserved a real break.

I was pouting about this one day (pouting in a very reverent, mature way, of course) when my husband stopped me. I expected him to say something sympathetic or rub my feet, maybe both. He had done those things before. But not this time. This time, he looked at me and quoted the Book of Job. “Who are you, oh man?” he asked.

I blinked.

“Who are you? So what if your life is a little hard right now? So what if you don’t get to do the things you think you should be able to do? Most people don’t! This is what God has called you to for this short season of your life! Who are you to question God?”

It was a completely absurd thing to say to a woman who had just worked a fifty hour week and still had to get up at 5:30 am with the baby. It was an absurd thing to say to a woman who had to drop out of seminary in order to take a job as a nanny so she could support her husband’s education and still take care of their child.

But he was right.

I had allowed myself to feel like a victimized by God’s plan for me. I had allowed myself to believe that this was too hard. This was too much of a sacrifice. This was not what I was made to do.

I had thought perhaps that God had a higher purpose for me because He had gifted me in ways I felt sure could bring Him glory. I did not think I was serving God enough just by being a mom. I felt there must be a higher calling for me—surely!—than just the plain old ordinary stuff of earth.

In my heart, I cried out to God, “You gave me these gifts! Why won’t you let me use them?”

The answer came: “You have no higher calling than the work I have called you to do.”

It does not really matter what someone else gets to do for God. It does not matter who He sends to Africa or gets to use her gifts in glorious ways. It does not matter what God has asked you to do if it is not what He has asked me to do.

The most contented mothers I know are those who are secure in their calling and purpose before God. It does not matter what their gifts are, or even what their desires are. Because of the fact that He gave them children, they understand and embrace the reality that God has called them to the ministry of motherhood.

Sometimes, that means they can use their gifts every day. Sometimes, it means they must balance how to use their gifts and care for their children. But often, very often, it means a dying to self, of giving back to God what was given to them and trusting that it will still be there when these years are through.

Every single mother I have ever met is gifted beyond what is required of her in her home. She has talents that go unused, abilities that are not recognized, and even spiritual gifts that she does not have time to use in the church. How can it be that nearly half of the population wastes these treasures in order to raise children?

Because it is the work that God has called us to for this time and for His great purpose. The fact that we do not always get to use our gifts does not mean that there is nothing more to us than motherhood. It means that we are willing to set those aside in order to be obedient to what God has called us to now.

Does that mean that I cannot work outside the home or go to school or pursue my dreams? Of course not. I would never be so bold as to limit God’s will for any person. But I do know this—if you are a mother, you will never find a higher calling than to invest in the lives of your children and it may very well be that God is asking you to let Him guard your dreams while you do the work that is ripe for this moment.

It is hard.

It is hard because I forget that I am a slave. I know I am adopted and I am a daughter and bride of Christ. But still, fundamentally, I am a slave of Christ. My life is not my own. I have been bought—redeemed, yes, but bought nonetheless. My good and loving Master gives me the work He wants me to do. No matter what the task, great or small, I cannot glorify or please Him at all unless I do what He requires of me.

I must understand that whatever He asks me to do is His highest purpose for me! The work He has given me is my ministry to Him. It is my sacrifice of obedience. It is my highest calling.

Sometimes we miss what God has for us, not because we do not think big enough, but because we are not willing to bend low enough.

I am a slave. When I come to Him, seeking His will, it should be with hands outstretched, ready to do my Master’s will, even on the weekends. My prayers should be of openness and humility. “Please, show me what you would have for me to do today.”

It could very well be that your job today is to do the laundry and make the lunches. Be willing to accept that, and you will find great peace and contentment as you go about your work today.

There is no higher calling than to do the work God has appointed for you.

Please join us tomorrow for Day 25: Boundaries

For further thought:

1) Read Luke 17:9-10. How should be think about recognition in regard to our work? How should we feel about doing the lowly things that come with our responsibilities as mothers?

2) If you find yourself frustrated with the daily and mundane aspects of motherhood, meditate on this verse. Hold it dear to your heart and consider that you are pleasing God the most by doing what He has asked of you. “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord, rather than for men knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” Colossians 3:23-24

3) Perhaps you have gifts you have not been able to use for God. Why is it okay to give them back to God for this season? Can you trust Him to return them when the time is right, and give you opportunities to use them in the future?

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Plans {Day 21}

The beginning is a great place to start! Click here for Day 1.

I know of a young woman who planned great things for her life. She was simple and came from humble surroundings, but like all girls her age, big dreams filled her heart. She thought about getting married and having a home of her own. She dreamed about rocking babies and raising a slew of children with the man she loved.

Then one day, all those plans seemed to fall apart. She was pregnant. She! The good girl, the one who always did everything right, she was going to have a baby. It wouldn’t matter that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t do anything wrong—people would look at her differently. People would always wonder, maybe even her beloved.

All the plans in her heart came crashing down.

Yet somehow, she still trusted that God was directing her steps, and that God was leading her to the best possible place. When the circumstances of her life seemed most terrifying, she said, “I am the bondslave of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

Her name was Mary, and the interruption of her plans involved the birth of our Savior. It was a plan that guaranteed her humiliation and removed her security. But she embraced it wholeheartedly.

Every time I read of Mary’s response to the Lord’s interruption to her life, I am astounded. She understood that her life was not her own, and she held her plans loosely in her hands.

I am not that way.

Many of my most frustrating parenting moments have come about because my plans have failed and I have not reacted by opening my hands to God’s new purposes. I do not always allow Him to direct my steps without a struggle, and I can’t seem to enjoy my children if the plan changes mid-morning or fails altogether.

Sometimes, the plans that fail are ordinary, like my plan to get to church on time that is derailed by children who do not eat fast enough or get dressed quickly enough. Sometimes, the plans I have are bigger, like the plan to buy a house, change jobs or balance a budget. What happens when the house falls through, the job doesn’t manifest, or an unexpected expense kills the budget? I usually fail to see God’s purposes in my failed plans.

Many, many, many are the plans in my heart. But it is God’s way to mess with the plans of men, to take us from a place of self-confidence and lead us to a place of faith. We see it Moses, who planned to fade into obscurity but was led instead to a burning bush in the middle of a desert and into a ministry he never wanted. We see it in Joseph, who planned to live a comfortable life under his father’s blessing, but ended up rotting in captivity in Egypt while his brothers got away with murder. We see it in Jacob, who planned to marry the pretty daughter. But he got the other one instead.

In every single one of these instances, God was found in the change of plans. God was leading His child to the place where He was.

It is important to understand that God does not lead us where He does not intend to meet us. He did not do it to our forefathers, and He does not do it to us. But we must hold His hand and walk by faith to get there.

Think of Abraham, who had to climb up the mountain with wood and a knife and the child of promise, the boy they had named Laughter for the remarkable way God had brought him about. Abraham had to be willing to let go of his own dreams and climb up the mountain in faith in order to see the hand of God in what seemed to be an unholy change of plan. If he had not gone, he would have missed it.

When your plans go awry, make it a practice to look for the presence of God. He has not led you into the wilderness to die; He has led you into the wilderness to show you a bush aflame with His glory. He has led you there to show you water from a rock and manna from heaven. He is there, waiting for you to take off your shoes, open your hands, and say, “Be it unto me according to your plan.”

If God is directing you steps, it means He is near enough to hold your hand. He is near enough to keep your steps from falling even though the path is uncharted. He stands next to you with the pot of burning oatmeal or the unexpected bill and He says to you, “Look for me here!”

Can you see God in the unexpected places today? Can you see Him in the change of plans or the interrupted schedule? If you can open your hands and walk in faith the place God has planned for you, you will find greater peace and contentment because that is where God is.

The mind of man plans his way. But the LORD directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For further thought:

1) Think of an instance when God has allowed you to go through a change of plans in order to lead you to a better place. How did God protect or provide for you by allowing your plans to fail?

2) Read the birth story of Jesus in Luke 1. Would you have been able to respond the way Mary did? How can you be more open to God’s will today?

3) Memorize Proverbs 16:9. Encourage yourself with those words when it seems that all your plans are coming undone. Then, look for God in the place where He leads.

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