family Archives - Page 10 of 15 - Kristen Anne Glover

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Variety {Day 22}

New here? Click here to start at the beginning of the series.

The first winter we lived in the Pacific Northwest, we broke a record for the wettest winter in the history of man. The clouds dripped cold, wet rain until it felt like it might even rain in the house. One day, I lifted the shades in the bedroom and found moss growing up the insides of the windows.

Starbucks enjoyed a nice boost of business that year. So did the library and the McDonald’s that had the indoor playground. So did the doctor’s offices, because all those places were filled with drippy-nosed children who hadn’t seen the light of day in months. The germs went wild.

Meanwhile, my mommy friends and I plotted to hijack a plane and force it to deposit the frizzy-haired, fleece-clad lot of us in Hawaii. Or Arizona. Actually, we’d be happy if the plane simply flew up over the cloud cover so we see that the sun was still there. Beautiful sun.

We were all suffocating under the monotony of endless sameness. Every day, the same gray clouds pressed down. Every day, the same icy rain kept us inside. Every day, our waking hours exceeded our creativity by at least six times. We were grumpy.

What was lacking that winter was anything new. We all felt like we were shriveling up even in the midst of all that rain.

It became painfully obvious that we needed some variety.

Most of us already knew that. “Variety is the spice of life,” right? But that winter, we felt it.

Mothers need variety. Children need variety. Without it, life becomes exceedingly boring, even wearisome. Children often respond to that boredom by acting out. Mothers often respond to that boredom by becoming depressed, short-tempered, or withdrawn. It’s a bad combination.

But change, even a little bit of change, can breathe new life into a dreary day. It helps us to enjoy our children more because change is restorative. It awakens a part of our soul that was created by an infinitely creative God. With abandon, He filled the darkest corners of the earth and the deepest depths of the ocean with strange and beautiful things. The universe is so full of the treasures of His Creation we will never come to the end of them. Man has tramped all over this world, and yet he has only begun to discover the inventions of a God who did not limit Himself when creating this home for us.

Remarkably, the God who ordered everything so perfectly also made everything so perfectly unique. Every blade of grass is the same in its composition, yet each one differs in its form. Each snowflake is just as much a snowflake as the next, yet no two are alike. Each day, the sun rises and sets in the same way, yet every day is new.

Bringing variety into our homes is one of the ways we reflect the image of God. God is creative, and when we are creative, we are like Him. None of us is creative to the same degree as God, of course, and we do not all reflect this aspect of His character to the same degree. I am often humbled when I see the creativity of others that is much more like the creativity of God than my own.

But to be creative does not mean I have to come up with the ideas myself. It means to create, using whatever resources are available, even the ideas and inspiration of others. That’s why God made Pinterest.

If you find yourself getting into a rut with your children, and each day seems mundane and uninspiring, and you find yourself lacking enjoyment of them, it might be time to get creative. Look for ways you can bring some newness and change into your home.

Not everyone thrives on the same amount of change or even the same types of change, but even very simple things like a fresh haircut or getting new books at the library can make you and your child feel renewed. It can spark fresh excitement and enjoyment in your relationship.

Here are some ideas:

*Do a toy swap with a friend. What could be more fun than having some new toys or puzzles to play with for the week?

*Have a picnic lunch on the living room floor, complete with blankets and lemonade.

*Help your child decorate her room.

*Take the kids out of school for the day and go do something special as a family.

*Take a different way home, or follow a road and see where it goes.

*Eat at an ethnic restaurant you’ve never tried before, or research a country and make your own ethnic cuisine. Don’t forget to decorate appropriately!

*Try a new craft! Have your kids ever used pastels? Clay? Beads? Check out Pinterest for an endless supply of ideas. Pick one and surprise the kids.

*Rearrange the furniture.

*Eat by candlelight.

*Get out your old CDs and educate your children on “good music.” Don’t forget to dance!

*Throw a tea party.

*Play a physical game with your kids, like tag or Twister.

*Slip love notes to your kids under their doors.

*Plan a day trip! Don’t tell your kids where you’re going. Just load them up in the car and let them writhe with anticipation.

*Create a scavenger hunt in the house or yard.

*Visit the elderly. Bring a list of questions and try to learn more about what life was like many years ago.

*Hide Easter eggs…in January.

*Get new coloring books and crayons. Don’t skimp on the new crayons. It’s fun.

*Make a new dessert. Let the kids pick!

*Choose a family to bless. Make up a basket of goodies, personal products, or food items and drop it off on their doorstep. If you live in the city, create gift bags full of sample products, non-perishable food items, and other necessities and hand-deliver them to a panhandler.

*Make and send cards to a deployed soldier.

*Make pretzels. Let the kids shape their own!

*See how big of a blanket fort you can make.

*Put everyone’s name in a bowl and let each person draw a name. Spend the day doing special things for the person you picked.

These are just ideas to get you started. The possibilities are endless, just like the creativity of God. Why not pick one thing to do this weekend to breathe some newness and creativity into your home. You will find that you and your children enjoy the change.

Need variety ? Throw a toga party.

Please join us on Monday for Day 23. Only eight days left!

For further thought:

1) Some children struggle with change. If you have a child who does not like most types of change, you may need to focus on making the changes less dramatic, like changing your own bedroom or simply putting fresh flowers on the table. Don’t let your child’s uncertainty keep you from doing anything at all. Simply do things more slowly.

2) We learned in our post on constancy that creativity without constancy is chaos. Even though creativity is one aspect of God’s character, so is order. If you are a very creative person, you may need to learn to balance your creativity with some structure so your children don’t feel like they’re living in a state of chaos. Read the creation account of Genesis 1. Notice how God ordered His creation to reflect both aspects of His character. Does your home reflect both order and creativity?

3) What are some of the ways you have introduced variety into your home? How do you keep things interesting and new? Please share in the comments!

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Plans {Day 21}

The beginning is a great place to start! Click here for Day 1.

I know of a young woman who planned great things for her life. She was simple and came from humble surroundings, but like all girls her age, big dreams filled her heart. She thought about getting married and having a home of her own. She dreamed about rocking babies and raising a slew of children with the man she loved.

Then one day, all those plans seemed to fall apart. She was pregnant. She! The good girl, the one who always did everything right, she was going to have a baby. It wouldn’t matter that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t do anything wrong—people would look at her differently. People would always wonder, maybe even her beloved.

All the plans in her heart came crashing down.

Yet somehow, she still trusted that God was directing her steps, and that God was leading her to the best possible place. When the circumstances of her life seemed most terrifying, she said, “I am the bondslave of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

Her name was Mary, and the interruption of her plans involved the birth of our Savior. It was a plan that guaranteed her humiliation and removed her security. But she embraced it wholeheartedly.

Every time I read of Mary’s response to the Lord’s interruption to her life, I am astounded. She understood that her life was not her own, and she held her plans loosely in her hands.

I am not that way.

Many of my most frustrating parenting moments have come about because my plans have failed and I have not reacted by opening my hands to God’s new purposes. I do not always allow Him to direct my steps without a struggle, and I can’t seem to enjoy my children if the plan changes mid-morning or fails altogether.

Sometimes, the plans that fail are ordinary, like my plan to get to church on time that is derailed by children who do not eat fast enough or get dressed quickly enough. Sometimes, the plans I have are bigger, like the plan to buy a house, change jobs or balance a budget. What happens when the house falls through, the job doesn’t manifest, or an unexpected expense kills the budget? I usually fail to see God’s purposes in my failed plans.

Many, many, many are the plans in my heart. But it is God’s way to mess with the plans of men, to take us from a place of self-confidence and lead us to a place of faith. We see it Moses, who planned to fade into obscurity but was led instead to a burning bush in the middle of a desert and into a ministry he never wanted. We see it in Joseph, who planned to live a comfortable life under his father’s blessing, but ended up rotting in captivity in Egypt while his brothers got away with murder. We see it in Jacob, who planned to marry the pretty daughter. But he got the other one instead.

In every single one of these instances, God was found in the change of plans. God was leading His child to the place where He was.

It is important to understand that God does not lead us where He does not intend to meet us. He did not do it to our forefathers, and He does not do it to us. But we must hold His hand and walk by faith to get there.

Think of Abraham, who had to climb up the mountain with wood and a knife and the child of promise, the boy they had named Laughter for the remarkable way God had brought him about. Abraham had to be willing to let go of his own dreams and climb up the mountain in faith in order to see the hand of God in what seemed to be an unholy change of plan. If he had not gone, he would have missed it.

When your plans go awry, make it a practice to look for the presence of God. He has not led you into the wilderness to die; He has led you into the wilderness to show you a bush aflame with His glory. He has led you there to show you water from a rock and manna from heaven. He is there, waiting for you to take off your shoes, open your hands, and say, “Be it unto me according to your plan.”

If God is directing you steps, it means He is near enough to hold your hand. He is near enough to keep your steps from falling even though the path is uncharted. He stands next to you with the pot of burning oatmeal or the unexpected bill and He says to you, “Look for me here!”

Can you see God in the unexpected places today? Can you see Him in the change of plans or the interrupted schedule? If you can open your hands and walk in faith the place God has planned for you, you will find greater peace and contentment because that is where God is.

The mind of man plans his way. But the LORD directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For further thought:

1) Think of an instance when God has allowed you to go through a change of plans in order to lead you to a better place. How did God protect or provide for you by allowing your plans to fail?

2) Read the birth story of Jesus in Luke 1. Would you have been able to respond the way Mary did? How can you be more open to God’s will today?

3) Memorize Proverbs 16:9. Encourage yourself with those words when it seems that all your plans are coming undone. Then, look for God in the place where He leads.

30 Days to Enjoying Your Children More: Rest {Day 19}

Just joining us? You will find Day 1 of the series here.

When Daylight Saving Time ended about six weeks ago, I did not set my clocks back. I hate how it gets dark out at 4 pm, how my children are cranky for a week while they adjust to the new schedule, and how much more time my kids have to spend inside because night falls just as soon as they are finishing school. This year, I simply refused to participate.

We now operate by our own time.

This has worked out brilliantly for me. Using Glover Time, I never have to be out of the house before 10 am because that’s only 9 am to the rest of the Pacific Standard Time minions. My neighbors think I am an incredibly responsible person when my kitchen light turns on at 5:50 am. Yep, that’s me. Mrs. Morning Person with the five kids all dressed and memorizing Bible verses at 8 am.

The only hitch in my little rebellion against the Time Lords is Wednesday night. Wednesday night is when the kids and I go to our home group Bible study. Wednesday nights start at 7 pm in “real” time, which means we arrive at 8 pm Glover time. 8 pm Glover Time is bedtime, the only thing holy next to God. This is problematic.

But last week, I was relieve to find that the kids did not feel the least bit sleepy at the start of our home group. They did not feel the least bit sleepy when dessert was served or when the movie started. They did not feel the least bit sleepy as we drove home and counted Christmas lights.

But when we rolled in the driveway at 10:30 pm, Kya burst into tears. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t know!” she wailed. “I just feel like crying!” She could not get out of the van. She was sobbing all over her new lilac colored puffy winter coat with matching accessories.

Micah had developed a sudden paralysis as well, which was unfortunate because his seat blocks the sliding door. Everyone waited.

“I can’t waaaaaaaaaalk,” he moaned.

“Micah! Ouch, stop pushing! I can’t get out! MOM! Micah won’t move!” My older two made their contributions to our Hallmark moment.

“Micah, come here,” I said, yanking him (it was a gentle yank) out of the car and tucking him under one arm.

“Mom! Don’t hurt me!” he wailed loudly enough to cause our neighbor to come to his window to see which of my children I was beating in the driveway.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, sweetie,” I said while fishing in the van with my free arm for the missing twin. “Paul, come here,” I said.

“I so TIRED, Mom!” Paul sighed, slumping down between his seat and mine where I could not reach him.

“I know you’re tired. But you need to get of the car first and I’ll get you all tucked into bed. Come here, Paul.” Paul obeyed but his lower lip stuck out and trembled. I scooped him up in my other arm and attempted to carry both boys up the front steps, even though I am painfully—I repeat, painfully—out of practice when it comes to carrying both boys up the front steps at the same time. Kya followed me, crying like I’d just told her she isn’t a real princess.

“Don’t worry, guys,” I gasped, wondering if my kids really would dial 911 if I passed out, or if they’d just jump on me. “I’ll have you cozy in a minute.”

But it took more than a minute to get everyone in bed. Kya wept over her toothbrush. Paul collapsed in the entryway and refused to take off his shoes. Micah face-planted onto the steps leading up to the bathroom where he moaned, “I tired…I tired…I tired…” to which Faith replied, “We heard you the first time!”

It was heartwarming, really. As I crashed into bed, I realized I had not even started my blog post for the next day. Not. Even. Started. It was supposed to be on enjoying my children, and specifically, weakness. That was funny, because the last half hour, I had absolutely cherished the socks off those little dumplings.

I should write on exhaustion, I thought. But I wasn’t quite ready to talk about it yet. I was secretly terrified that I had to get up in the morning and do this all over again. I had to teach school and parent alone and be alone and try to write what was on my heart in a way that wasn’t preachy or self-righteous or…fake. Also, I hadn’t shaved my legs in at least two weeks. Suddenly, that seemed important.

Vince Lomabrdi once said, “Exhaustion makes cowards of us all.” If by “coward” he meant “paranoid schizophrenic,” then yes. That quote is spot-on. Exhaustion was wreaking havoc in my home.

The opposite of exhaustion is rest. That’s something I used to get before I had children. In fact, before I had children, I didn’t have to think about rest much at all because it was usually available to me whenever I needed it. Now, it is something I have to find.

In the Bible, rest is equated with blessing, promise, and God’s favor. It is hope for the future. But it is also a command. I used to wonder why God commanded us to rest. Rest is one of our most basic needs as human beings, like food. We need deep, daily, restorative rest. God doesn’t need to tell us that.

Or does He?

The command to rest highlights the fact that there is something in our nature that fights it. We get squirrely about going to bed on time and resting in quiet devotion to God. In fact, we tend to do everything else first. We see it in Psalm 23, where God has to make us to lie down in green pastures.

We see it also in the church. We love the Ten Commandments, except that one about the Sabbath. That one no longer applies to us today, we say, and dispose of the beauty, grace, and gift of the Sabbath along with the Law. We want to fix people by plugging them into programs or doling out Scripture verses when often what they need is rest, true physical and spiritual rest.

We see it in our homes. We stay up too late working, pushing bedtime farther and farther back while we struggle to fit more into a day than a day can hold. When we have time, we tend to equate rest and relaxation, or worse, rest and entertainment. They are not the same things.

Rest is a discipline.

It is taking the time to restore our bodies and our souls. It means going to bed on time. It means humbling ourselves in quiet reflection before God. Those two things do not happen in front of the TV or at a BBQ with the neighbors. Rest takes work.

One of the greatest things we can do to foster our enjoyment of our children is to guard our times of rest. The very practical aspect of making sure your children go to bed on time and get enough rest (note to self) will work wonders on making them more enjoyable. Ensuring your own rest time will make you more enjoyable.

When I am tempted to overextend myself and fight against rest (which is often), I think of Jesus. Throughout the New Testament, we find him slipping away, even though the crowds of needy people pressed in around him and followed him wherever he went. Imagine that. There he is, the Savior of the World, the one who can fix all their hurts, heal their diseases, raise their dead—and he leaves them with their hands outstretched so he can go take a nap.

I think Jesus knew the intimacy between body and soul. He knew it is very difficult to have a restful soul without a rested body. Rest was essential to his ministry and to his health. He understood that he could not help any of those people if he was not restored in body and spirit. So he slept. And he prayed. He took the time to rest so he was equipped to do the work God had for him.

Surely, if the Son of God can leave blind men and beggars to rest, I can leave the dishes in the sink and go to bed on time. Surely, if the Son of God can find time to pray when all the world was waiting for him to do a work, I can find the time to settle my soul down with my Savior, even if it means saying no to entertainment or relaxation or leaving before the party has ended. Surely, if the Son of God needed to rest in order to do his best for those he loved, I do as well.

He restores my soul

Please join us tomorrow for Day 20: Food

For further thought:

1) Using a tool like www.biblegateway.com, search for the word “rest.” Notice how often the word is equated with a blessing. Do you view rest as a blessing or an obligation?

2) When was the last time you restored your soul by resting in God? Today, make it a point to get away with God for ten minutes. Pray. Rest in the promises of His Word. You will find yourself more equipped to love and enjoy your children for the rest of the day.

3) How is rest like an act of faith?

Bonus: Sometimes, we don’t get the rest we think we need and it can become an idol in our lives. If you have this struggle, you might want to read Counting the Hours, a story I wrote about that very thing.

« Previous Page