holidays Archives - Kristen Anne Glover

A Zero-Budget Christmas: Buying Second-hand

Zero-Budget Christmas

A Zero-Budget Christmas

Part 5: Shopping Second-hand

(or Kids’ Edition, Part 2)

In the early years, when we were growing our family, finishing degrees, and working lots of jobs for little pay, second-hand items saved my Christmases.

It was during those years I learned that a gift does not have to brand new to be thoughtful and delightful.

If you’ve been following along with our Zero-Budget Christmas series from the beginning, you will not be surprised to find out that for most of our marriage, nearly all of the presents we gave in our home were not purchased new.

To this day, one of the ways I make Christmas work is by embracing the idea of “new to you.”

“New to you” items are not purchased brand-new, but they are new to the recipient. They are things that delight the receiver but would be unattainable for the giver if purchased brand-new. This can include absolutely anything: toys, clothes, books, sporting goods, electronics—anything you can purchase new, you can find gently used.

The benefits of embracing a “new-to-you” gift-giving philosophy are numerous. First, this concept allows you to give thoughtfully and even lavishly on a zero-budget. That’s because the brand-new value that is assigned to an item by a marketer is paid for by the first buyer. The second buyer gets the same item without having to pay for the privilege of taking it out of the box.

Second, focusing on new-to-you breaks the cycle of disposable consumerism. We are a throw-away culture. If a child is tired of a toy, or the teen doesn’t like that new shirt, or Grandma gives the kids a stack of books they have no intention of reading, those things show up at the thrift store.

That means that many nearly brand-new items are available for pennies on the dollar because someone got bored of them, the item wasn’t quite “right,” or it was never wanted in the first place. Buying second-hand looks for the value beyond the box.

When we shop and give this way, we teach our children that the price tag and the flashy packaging is not what matters. It’s the value that remains after those things are gone that counts. If children can learn that during their early years, they will be much wiser consumers later in life.

Third, if you’re a mama of little ones, buying new-to-you is the most brilliant thing you can do because most of the time, those gifts come unwrapped and pre-assembled! Can I get a “Hallelujah!” for not needing a screwdriver, pliers, a sturdy scissors, or a chainsaw on Christmas morning to get your two-year-old’s dump truck out of the box. Amen!

Many parents take gifts out of the packaging before wrapping them for this very reason. Well, if this is your habit, let me tell you: your child will not know if you unwrapped a new present or gave them a new-to-them present, and they won’t care. They’ll just be delighted with the gift.

New to you

So, are you ready to get started? If you’re not currently a thrifty shopper, or even if you are, here are some ways to find the gifts your family needs, second-hand:

Shopping new-to-you requires a little more planning than retail shopping because you can’t control what you’ll find. I keep a running list of ideas for each child, and because we only purchase one or two “want” gifts each year, that keeps my options open.

If you’re on zero-budget, don’t settle for retail thrift store prices. Watch for sales! Savers (or Value Village, depending on region), Goodwill, and many other franchises will have 50% off days or other promotions. I keep a running list of the things my kids need and wait for a sale. Many stores will also give coupons if you donate, so be sure to ask.

Check out independent thrift stores, like those run by churches. In my experience, these stores have better prices, more helpful staff, and are generally cleaner and better organized than the chain stores.

Thred Up and other online clothing consignment shops allow you to search for specific brands, sizes, and even quality. You can search “New with Tags” to find amazing deals. These stores tend to be pricier than brick-and-mortar thrift stores, but they also have better, more consistent inventory. Plus, the convenience of a search feature when shopping for clothing cannot be underestimated. If you do not have an account with Thred Up, use this link to get $10 off your first order. Sign up for their e-mail list and you’ll also get a discount code for a percentage off. As we have already mentioned, you can even donate to earn credit for purchases.

Host a gift-swap. Get your friends together and have everyone bring their gently used toys, books, clothes, and giftables to swap. Fuel the fun with cookies and cocoa and barter away. Everyone will exchange used toys with “new-to-you” gifts to give–truly a zero-budget option.

Put out an SOS on social media. This is one of the best ways to find specific gifts at a great price. If you have a child who loves American Girl dolls, Thomas trains, electronics, or anything with a name brand, ask your village! Need electronics for your teen? Ask the people you know and trust. You’d be surprised at what people are just getting ready to upgrade or have sitting around. They will willingly and reasonably sell or even give their stuff to you so they don’t have to bother with finding another taker.

buying second-hand toys

Search Craigslist and Ebay for specific things like sporting goods or brand-name toys. Craigslist has been a better source for second-hand items for me than Ebay, since many professional Ebay sellers keep prices just as high (and often higher) than you can find retail. But Ebay is still the source for collectibles, retired toys, or limited editions, and it comes with certain buyer protections, which Craigslist does not have.

Search for local sales pages on social media, and join! Many towns, cities, and community groups have sales pages. If you don’t see something you’re looking for, ask! You may even be able to arrange delivery for large items.

Have you implemented a new-to-you Christmas gift-giving strategy in your home? I’d love to hear what has worked for you so we can be a little more savvy this year. Tell us in the comments!

*To begin reading A Zero-Budget Christmas from the beginning, start here.

**During this series, affiliate links may be included for your convenience.

A Zero-Budget Christmas: A Little Perspective

Zero-Budget Christmas

A Zero-Budget Christmas

2: A little Christmas perspective

Mothers are amazing. Most healthy mothers, no matter their financial status, will do whatever it takes to meet their kids’ needs. They take extra jobs, learn how to stretch a budget, and give up their own personal comfort for the benefit of their children.

What is even more amazing is that most mothers really don’t mind doing any of this because it’s for their kids.

But at Christmas, the disparity between the families who have plenty and the ones who are just scraping by seems a little wider. Mothers who otherwise “make it work” and carry a sense of pride in how they manage to care for their children, suddenly feel the sharpness of lack.

As someone who has been there, allow me say this: there is a massive difference in knowing you are not rich and feeling poor. No one likes to feel poor.

Maybe you know that feeling too, and you are looking for a better way to make it through the season. Fortunately, this series is here to help. I’ve learned lots of tips and tricks over the years as my husband and I have raised five kids on a shoestring. The great news is, you can make Christmas magical on a zero-budget.

I introduced this series by telling you our Christmas story.

Now, before we do anything else, we’re going to put Christmas in perspective. Stick with me here–I am not trying to get out of giving you actual, practical advice on how to make Christmas work when money is limited. That’s coming.

But I would be negligent in my care of you if I did not start with some important fundamentals. I can tell you how to do more with less money, but nothing will change for you unless you understand your motivation for giving and learn how to protect your heart from manipulation.

If you do not get this, you will spend the rest of your Christmases running the same frantic race, no matter what your budget, because you will believe that if you don’t do it right, you will have failed.

That is not the better way.

toy truck with Christmas tree

Still, it’s the path many of us end up taking because we love our kids, and our heart’s desire is to make sure they feel that love every day. Usually, that means smiles and hugs and making pancakes once in a while, but at Christmas, the cultural expectation in our time in history is that we show love through lavish gift-giving.

This has not always been the case, of course. If you’ve ever read through Little House in the Big Woods, you might remember what Mary and Laura and the cousins received on Christmas morning: a peppermint stick and new, red mittens. Laura alone got a new, handmade doll that Ma made from fabric scraps, but Mary didn’t because she already had one.

Times have changed! Now, even our expectations have expectations: try giving any kid the same gifts Mary and Laura got and you’ll see what I mean. What has changed is marketing. We have it. They didn’t. Every single product sold in every single store is run through a fine-tuned system developed to capitalize on our human emotions of greed, pride, and guilt.

And it works. According to research, the average American plans to spend nearly $1000 on gifts in 2016! Parents are anticipating spending an average of $422 per child.

If you are on a limited or nearly zero-budget, those expectations sink you. You can feel like a failure because you cannot meet those expectations without endangering your family’s finances.

Budget Christmas

But you have to realize this: shame is one of the emotions the marketing industry loves best because it motivates you to spend more than you should to make it go away. That is manipulation, plain and simple, and once you call it out, it makes it easier to fight back.

We have to be smarter than the industry and secure enough in our financial choices to make decisions in December that won’t haunt us in January. We need to choose the better things, and I don’t mean higher-quality products.

One of the best ways to do that is to stay conscious of the higher goal. It’s easy to fall victim to the social pressure to give our kids a great Christmas (whatever we think that means) because it echoes our natural inclination. We delight in giving good gifts to our children. That is a fragment of God in us.

The trouble is, we take it to extremes. If we’re not careful, our desire to give our children good gifts can prevent them from receiving an even better gift: contentment.

We have to remind ourselves that our goal as parents should never be to give our kids everything they want, but rather, to help our kids be content with whatever they have.

We say we believe that, but when we begin to fear our children’s disappointment, find ourselves getting a sense of pride or identity in the gifts we give, become consumed with finding the “right” gift or giving “enough” presents, chances are, we’re pursuing happiness rather than fostering contentment in ourselves and in our children.

Don’t get me wrong-happiness is nice. I will not argue with that. But it’s like a cubic zirconium: lots of sparkle with little lasting value.

Contentment is the diamond.

Having a right Christmas perspective means seeking contentment over happiness

Remember that when you’re standing in the toy aisle or adding items to your Amazon cart. You can completely blow your budget to give your kids happiness, but it will not last. Or, you can choose to stay within the budget that best fits the long-term goals of your family and work on fostering contentment instead.

One will begin to pay dividends in January. The other will leave you with a deficit. Either way, you choose.

Make the better choice, and no matter what your budget is, you will always have the best gift.

Next time, we’ll talk about ways to grow a zero-budget into some workable Christmas capital. If you’ve been wishing you had just a little more money to work with, you won’t want to miss it! You’ll be surprised at easy it is to do the very things you’re already doing but make money doing it!

*To begin A Zero-Budget Christmas series at the beginning, click here.

**During this series, affiliate links may be included for your convenience. Thank you for supporting this ministry!

A Zero-Budget Christmas

1: Making Christmas magical with little money

Our first Christmas was spent in a one-bedroom apartment in married student housing. We took a bit of the money Jeff earned from shoveling the sidewalks for the First Congregational Church of Hamilton and headed to the local Target to buy a $39 plastic Christmas tree.

We decorated it with a box of ornaments Jeff’s mother had saved for him through the years, and the ones I had collected because of my love for Christmas. But the only presents under the tree were the ones relatives sent and the bottle of Diet Coke Jeff secretly bought at CVS and wrapped for me.

For the next four years, that red brick apartment building was home. I had two babies in that time, and we took any jobs we could find to make grad school work: Jeff was a teaching assistant; I was a nanny. He shoveled snow and locked up buildings each night for a church; I cleaned houses.

We bought dented cans from the discounted bin at Stop and Shop, and I faithfully dug through piles at the campus thrift store to find clothes for our growing kids. On the day I made an appointment for WIC, I cried.

Still, I almost always loved the challenge of making our budget stretch to fit our needs. We were careful with our money, and because of that, we had everything we needed—and more.

But on Christmas, my mama-heart broke.

Christmas not in budget

No matter how careful we were to save, Christmas was not in the budget.

That was okay when it was just the two of us, and it was even okay when the children were small enough not to know better. But in the years following seminary, when my husband was still working three jobs and our budget wasn’t much bigger, I struggled through the holidays because I wanted so much to make Christmas special for my kids, and it felt nearly impossible to do so.

One year, we had a budget of $10 a kid. Ten bucks. What could I do with ten bucks? They were old enough to feel the difference between a $10 Christmas and the kind their friends got. They were old enough to have wish lists and expectations.

I had expectations.

I crawled into bed that Christmas Eve after doing everything I could to fill stockings with things I’d collected, feeling like I had failed. Even though I had done my best, I felt guilty, like it was my fault I still couldn’t do better for them. I knew they would be so disappointed, and it made me ache.

But I was wrong. My children were never disappointed. In fact, they displayed the same kind of exuberance and gratitude on Christmas morning as I would have expected from a child who had received far more. To this day, they are thrilled to receive homemade gifts, don’t mind a bit if a gift is second-hand, and rarely have wish-lists longer than one or two very reasonable items.

In those hard years, when I thought I was depriving my kids, they were internalizing some very valuable lessons on materialism, gratitude, and the true joy of Christmas. Looking back, I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade that season for anything.

Even now, we keep Christmas simple. It’s much more of a choice these days than it used to be, but the principle stays the same: we don’t need a lot of money to stay within budget and give thoughtfully this year.

Christmas on a zero-budget

Mamas, if this time of year is hard for you because Christmas is not in the budget, my heart goes out to you. I know how hard the struggle can be to give your kids everything they need—and to still fall short this time of year. I know what it’s like to believe that simplicity is good, and yet to feel guilty and inadequate because your kids have to do without…again.

This short series is for you on how to make a magical Christmas on a (nearly) zero budget. In the next few days, I’ll be posting tons of ideas we have gleaned from our thirteen years of “skinny” Christmases. They are all things you can do to give thoughtfully during this season and still stay within budget.

Be forewarned: This is not a series about spending as little as possible (remember, Scrooge was the bad guy); this is about doing the most with what you have so the people in your life feel your thoughtfulness, and you can enjoy this season with your kids and family without feeling a bit inadequate.

I hope you’ll join us, and as always, if you have questions or comments about this series or anything else, please let me know! My goal is to help you choose the better things this season so you can enjoy your family more…even on a zero budget.