Four generations, including Grandpa, my dad, my older brother, and Great-Grandpa
My dad was born in June of 1951. Grandpa was a builder, and that was a good profession to be in when the war had ended and the country was in the mood to grow. Everyone was having babies and building houses, including Grandma and Grandpa, who married while their high school diplomas were waiting to dry.
My dad was born before anyone had time to ask what was taking so long. Grandpa marked the event by naming a street after his first born baby boy. He was going to sell houses all up and down Gary Drive, and things were going to be better.
The babies came as the houses went up, and in just a blink, it seemed, there were eight mouths to feed. No, ten, because Grandma and Grandpa had to eat too, although it was a wonder anything was left after the kids were through. The milk never spoiled and the leftovers never went to waste because someone was always hungry enough to eat yesterday’s meatloaf.
Even for all the promises of prosperity, things didn’t get much better. Hope hung in the air, like a cloud, but it refused to rain down. The big family of little children struggled. Grandpa thought it shouldn’t be so hard for an honest person to earn a living. But it was.
Grandma thought the same thing. She had to find a way to make ends meet so she filled a van full of wallpaper books and spent her days climbing ladders and smearing paste and talking to customers about matching borders. She wallpapered the local McDonald’s and a house or two on Gary Drive. It put food on the table and new shoes on growing feet. But it didn’t pay for braces or piano lessons or sweet sixteen dresses.
On Sundays, the family scrubbed up, lined up and went to church. They took up the whole pew. As they grew, they took up a few more. All the kids had at least one decent shirt or dress to wear to church, even if it wasn’t new and the shoes pinched funny because they had been bought for someone else.
And the kids grew up and out of their clothes and the milk cartons were put back in the fridge empty and no one knew who ate the last piece of bread. Grandma canned everything that grew and tried to keep her oldest from eating a whole jar of peaches by himself because there was always someone else to think about.
But having someone else to think about was not such a bad thing. Having someone else to think about is what turns men into husbands and women into mothers. It’s what makes children into well-rounded adults even when the childhood is harder than the parents wish it was. It’s what makes people know they have enough when they hardly have anything at all.
Sometimes, I wish I could give my children more than I can. I wish I could offer them the newest shoes and the pretty Easter dresses, the soccer camps and the horseback riding lessons. If we had fewer children, some of those things might be possible.
But we have a large family (in an age when five children is considered a large family), and while we certainly have more than enough, much more than my grandparents had for their children, we live simply. It is both a choice and a necessity.
Sometimes, I wonder if it is the right choice. Most of the time, I know it is. It is hard to mourn the fact that my kids don’t have the latest gadgets when I hear them laughing over a game they’ve invented themselves. They are grateful for what they have, eager to spend time with one another, and willing to work to earn the extras.
It is not perfect. Nothing is. But on this beautiful day of motherhood, I am thankful that my children can’t have all they want. I’m thankful that in our house, there’s always someone else to think about. I am thankful that they have the chance to wait, to share, to give, to adapt, and to consider others better than themselves. I’m thankful that when it’s their turn, they know that the gifts and opportunities they have came about because the whole family worked to give something to them, and they, in turn, are learning that it’s good to work for the good of someone else.
Prosperity may be as elusive for us as it was for my grandpa. It may not. It really doesn’t matter at all. We know we have more than we deserve and more than enough.
Playing in a bucket= Best. Fun. Ever.
This is so true people out buying there 2-3 year a ipod i mean come on. People need to stop buying all that stuff and spend some with there kids thats why we have all this bulling these days the parents go and buy there kids ipods,xbox or whatever it may be and who cares they can occupy them selves. I even put my phone away through the night and spend time with my kids. I dont rush out and buy my kids the newest machine, my kids appreciate what they have and got. I know your grandma and grandpa what wonderful people they are, you are blessed to have such a wonderful family.
I love that your kids appreciate all the little things. They are learning to be such giver’s. I enjoy seeing God working His grace in their lives.
You know that simple is best when your child plays with the box that the toy came in rather than with the toy! When your big brother was very little his favorite toys were a big box and his beagle puppy. He’d convince the puppy to jump into the box and then he’d push the box around the house as fast as he could, giggling the whole time. Amazingly, the puppy seemed to like it as much as your brother did!
This falls exactly in line with my thinking! It is so easy to get caught up in our gadgets and forget about what is really important. As youth leaders in our church, my husband and I have discussed why it is so hard to get teens to come to church these days. One reason with which we concluded is the fact that teens have SO MUCH going on to distract them–sports, malls, video games, gadgets–who needs CHURCH?! Sadly, that leads to a worse result–churches feel the need to reach the young generation in unbiblical, worldly ways, which in turn misleads kids into thinking that they can do whatever they want and be “Christian” without changing to be like Christ. I believe our prosperity has been a great spiritual downfall.
yes. yes. yes.
I notice this so often with toys. Many families have rooms full of them.. and the kids come visit me and fall in love with catching frogs and feeding heifers and building dozens of interesting things out of the one big box of blocks I have.
The first day I watch kids they usually look around and say, “Where is your tv? Do you have any toys? I’m bored.” And by the second day, I never hear those words again. 🙂
Thank you for the reminder of the beauty of recognizing our blessings.
Beautiful photo and article! I was just thinking along these same lines lately – how life was back then and how it is now..
Last night, after my weekly trip to the store, I came home frustrated that we don’t have money to buy all the things I want for my kids… but this morning as they excitedly traipsed off to school in their rain jackets and boots in the middle of a South American downpour all of that “I wish they had” drained out of me. 🙂
Last night, after my weekly trip to the store, I came home frustrated that we don’t have money to buy all the things I want for my kids… but this morning as they excitedly traipsed off to school in their rain jackets and boots in the middle of a South American downpour all of that “I wish they had” drained out of me. 🙂
Oh, Kristen, this is so good! It could be the story of our family…your grandparents and yours, too. The two of us have talked together and with our “kids” of these very things through the years. We had things better than our parents and our kids have had it better than we did…our grandkids have more (is “better” the right word?) than their parents and we see our great-grandkids having things easier and more than theirs. And so it goes. But we still all believe in the values you’ve expressed. Here I am again…”wishing” I was better at expressing myself…even a little of your way with words. :>) Thank you so much for this. I will be sharing it.
Oh my goodness, this is so timely. Thank you.