How to Fix Furniture with Mayo

Last Friday, we got a bigger dining room table. It’s from Pottery Barn, ya’ll. Remember my love affair with Pottery Barn?

Even though it isn’t new, it’s the only thing in my house from Pottery Barn (and probably always will be), Better yet, all my kids can fit around it with room for company (as long as that company doesn’t have personal space issues), so I kind of love it.

Two days after we hauled that baby into the dining room, I scorched the top. If you follow my Five in Tow Facbebook page, you already heard the confession. Basically, I plunked my red-hot cast-iron Dutch oven smack down on top of that thing, and even though I had hot pads underneath the pot, it didn’t matter.

When I cleared the table after dinner, I saw a huge, ugly white mark right in the middle of the table. I ruined my Pottery Barn table two days after taking possession of it!

This is why we can’t have nice stuff. I am not worthy.

I almost burst into tears right then and there. Then I remembered some old trick involving mayonnaise and wood. Really, that’s all I had. I couldn’t even remember what the mayo was supposed to help with but I grabbed the jar from the fridge and smeared some right on that horrific mark.

It disappeared.

I could not believe it. I can have nice things after all! I can!

In my distress about the table, I did not think to take a picture before smearing on the condiments, but I did post my success to Facebook. I went on there and told you all how to fix furniture with mayo.

That started an interesting question. Some of you had heard of the ol’ mayo trick but had not had such stellar results. You were sad because you could not fix your furniture with mayo.

That got me thinking. I had some ideas of why my table responded so well to the mayonnaise, and it had to do with heat. The spot on my table was still warm when I applied the mayo, and I wondered if that had anything to do with the amazing results.

I decided to do some experimenting.

CAN MAYO REALLY FIX FURNITURE?

It just so happens that I also ruined another piece of furniture a few years ago (see note above about not being able to have nice things). My mother-in-law gave me an antique dresser when we first got married. Technically, she loaned it to me, but I’ve got squatter’s rights on it now.

Besides, there’s the awkward fact that I made a huge watermark on the top of that very dresser because I didn’t realize the fern I had watered completely overflowed. Water pooled up under the pot and sat there grinning until I noticed it later that night.

By then, it was too late.

I didn’t know what to do so I’ve been hiding that awful spot under piles of clothing for the last two years. My husband thinks I’m a slob. Really, I just can’t have nice things (see note above).

Do you think she’d notice something is different about it? I mean, it has been a few years.

It seemed this piece of furniture was prime for a little..experimentation (my husband agrees, especially if experimentation is synonymous with burning). If anything screams, “You’ve got nothing to lose!” it’s this dresser.

First, I smeared mayonnaise all over the watermark and let it sit. I didn’t notice much, if any, difference. Some of the very faint marks looked a little better, but it was negligible.

It was time to test my hypothesis.

SO…I got out my hair dryer. Holy smokes. Check out what happened.

I put the hair-dryer on high, and half-an-hour later, it looked like this:

That’s a two-year-old, nasty watermark, and it almost disappeared! In case you forgot how horrific it looked before, here’s the side-by-side:

I noticed that the darker places were the peaks of the mayo. In other words, the places where the mayo was the thickest turned out the darkest.

So I went gangster with the mayo on that watermark.

Overkill, perhaps?

This time, I heated the wood before I applied the mayonnaise. Then, I smeared it on thick and hit it with more heat. I know you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to blow-dry a dresser.” Neither do I. So, I rigged up this high-tech automatic blow-drying device. Ta-da!

After three rounds, the dresser looks like this:

Now, it’s not perfect, especially since the water damage actually changed the texture of the top of the dresser. But it’s significantly better than it was earlier today. Given the level of damage on this particular piece of furniture, I’d say the mayonnaise did an amazing job! In fact, I could probably get away with putting just one bird on it.

MAYO FOR THE WIN!

I’m pretty convinced. Mayonnaise does an amazing job of restoring furniture damage due to heat, water, or (ahem) neglect.

What does this mean?

We can all have nice things! (Just keep the mayo close by).

Simply Homemade: Bells and Burlap Wreath

This post is part of the Simply Homemade series. To see the rest of the posts, start here.

Well, things have not been going as planned over at the Glover household. I don’t know about you, but Christmas is a study in flexibility, and I don’t mean seeing if you can still touch your toes after eating all that peppermint bark. Schedules get rearranged, simple errands take longer than usual, and sometimes, instead of doing the things you should, you opt for a long winter’s nap.

So. Today’s post was supposed to involve fabric, scissors, and the Oh-So-Scary sewing machine. It doesn’t. My plans were derailed because someone forgot to take pictures of the final result of the sewing project and didn’t realize it until the dark of night when it was too late to do anything about it.

Enter the Backup Plan. Instead of doing a project involving minimal sewing skills, we’re doing to do a project involving minimal gluing skills. Yippee! Here’s a sneak peak:

Bells and Burlap Wreath

Okay, that wasn’t really a sneak peak. That was more like the reveal. But it’s Christmas, and aren’t we all tired of waiting for the good stuff?

Now you’ll just have to stick with me while I back this train up and tell you all about my Bells and Burlap Wreath after you’ve already seen it.

Whilst walking around my favorite charity the other day (ahem, Hobby Lobby), I spotted these fabulous burlap canvases on sale. I snagged one in a lovely shade of 12×12.

I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it until we walked past a whole herd of jingle bells, also on sale. Now, I’ve always wanted to make a jingle bell wreath but I’ve never done it. I said to myself, “What could be easier than making a jingle bell wreath on burlap?” Practically nothing!

We hauled it home and got started. This is what we did:

Step 1: Make a Circle

Find a plate or a bowl to use as a guide to draw a circle on the burlap. Do not center it. Leave more space at the top of the canvas than the bottom because you will be adding a bow later and you don’t want it looking weird.

Step 2: Add Jingle Bells

I bought a package of 75 bells for this project (and hoped it would be enough). You could use more, but I wouldn’t use any less. I was barely squeaking by with the bells I had but I didn’t want to go back to Hobby Lobby because I swear, it costs me $50 just to walk in the door.

Using a hot glue gun, glue the jingle bells to the burlap. Place them together side-by-side on the circle you drew. Then, create an inner circle but this time, space the bells a bit apart so they don’t look too planned or perfect. Wreaths should be random!

Kya, my seven-year-old daughter, put the bells on the burlap and you can see they got a little bunchy at the bottom, but it doesn’t matter. After you create an inner circle, randomly glue a few bells on top of the bottom two rows. Adding the extra layer of bells makes everything even out. See?

Step 3: Add a Bow

Make a bow with some nice wide ribbon and secure it to the burlap with a bit of glue. It helps to tack down the dangling parts of the bow too so it all stays where it should.

Also, I should have ironed it. Oops.

Now, you could be done at this point. I thought I was until I asked my husband what he thought of my project and he did that thing that husbands do where their eyes glaze over and they say, “Ummm…”

Apparently, it needed a little something-something more. So…

Step 4: Embellish

If you look back to the first picture in this post, you’ll see that I added “stuff.” But wait–don’t scroll up. Here it is again:

Jeff thought my Bells and Burlap wreath needed a little green. He also thought there was too much space in the middle. I could have added another layer of bells, but like I said before, there was the whole problem of entering Hobby Lobby for “one thing” and coming out $50 poorer.

Instead, I decided to use what I had on hand (what a concept). I added a cardboard gift tag with the word “Noel” (because I like that word) and some smaller bells on ribbon. There’s also a sprig of green, just for my guy.

He said it was an improvement so I kissed him.

Step 5: Give (or Keep) Your Bells and Burlap Wreath

You could give your project away. That’s the whole point of this series, right? Or, you could realize that the Bells and Burlap Wreath is the perfect addition to that shelf you have in the stairway.

Ahem.

Looks like I might have to go back to Hobby Lobby after all.

P.S. Save yourself the trouble and make two from the get-go.

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Simply Homemade: Whipped Coconut Body Butter

Whipped Coconut Body Butter is part of our Simply Homemade gift series

The December days are flying by. Christmas packages are arriving in the mail and the presents are starting to gather under the tree. Everything is bright and glorious and full.

It’s getting harder to find time to make gifts now that the days are short and swift. If you’re still trying to pull off some homemade magic for the loved ones on your list, you know how important it is to keep things simple.

Today’s Simply Homemade project is perfect for that. It requires just two ingredients and less than five minutes of your time (and most of that time you can be doing something else, like wrapping presents or sipping cocoa).

The result of your minimal efforts is a luscious gift perfect for the cold, dry days of winter. It’s something I use every day to keep my skin from shriveling up like a prune here in the desert. I call it Whipped Coconut Body Butter infused with Peppermint.

Sounds like a mouthful, right? Don’t worry–I promise it will be easier than eating just one Christmas cookie.

Before we get started, let’s talk about the main ingredient in this gift: unrefined coconut oil. You might have some in your house right now. I hope you do. It is amazing stuff.

I use unrefined coconut oil for just about everything. I cook with it, bake with it, eat it raw, put it on my hair and skin, and even use it as a sunscreen.

As a skin moisturizer, unrefined coconut oil is unparalleled. Coconut oil is antifungal, antibacterial, and so full of antioxidants, it actually fights the free radicals that damage your skin. The oil soaks right into the skin on a cellular level, and all those antioxidants go to work protecting and even restoring the skin. I don’t know about you, but my skin isn’t getting any younger, and it could use a little restoration now and again.

All of that and unrefined coconut oil has no artificial colors or scents. It’s perfectly safe for babies and adults, not a bit harmful to the environment, and won’t even stain your clothes. Sounds fabulous, right?

The only problem is, coconut oil is a solid unless temperatures get about 76 degrees. I don’t know about you, but I don’t keep my house that warm in the winter. That means my coconut oil has an unfortunate tendency to turn rock hard whenever the temperature falls.

Chiseling coconut oil out of a container is not one of my favorite things.

That’s where this tutorial comes in. I have a very easy solution to the coconut-chipping dilemma: we whip it. Now, I know you thought I call this stuff “Whipped” Coconut Body Butter because it sounds fancy.

But no.

We really need to whip it. Aerating the coconut oil keeps it soft and supple when the temperatures dip. You don’t even need a tutorial for this (I mean, you kind of get the idea when I say we need to whip it) but since we’re here….

Whipped Coconut Body Butter with Peppermint

Ta-Da!

Ingredients

1 c. unrefined coconut oil

Peppermint Essential Oil, about 20 drops

Self-Explanatory Instructions You Really Don’t Need

Scoop (or chip) the coconut oil into a mixing bowl fitted with a whisk attachment. I did not even measure. We all know what one cup looks like, right?

Whip the coconut oil. It will turn fluffy and glossy, and soft peaks will form when you lift the whisk out of the bowl. This is good. The more air you can incorporate into the coconut oil, the softer it will stay.

I let my mixer run for a good five minutes, scraping down the bowl occasionally to make sure no little coconut oil bits were escaping.

When it has just about doubled in volume, add the peppermint essential oil.* I added about 20 drops to my coconut oil to get the scent and potency I wanted, but you can adjust according to your tastes. Just be aware that the peppermint scent will develop a bit as the mixture cures.

Whip the coconut oil just long enough to blend in the oils, and you’re done! Carefully scoop the coconut oil into pretty little Mason jars for giving, being careful not to compact the oil too much (remember, we want to keep those air bubbles fat and happy).

To use: Apply Whipped Coconut Body Butter like you would any other moisturizer. It’s great to put on right out of the shower or before bed. I also rub it into my hair and scalp before a shower as a per-conditioner, or to the ends of my hair as an after-shower treatment.

Allow the coconut oil to absorb and continue on with your regular Christmastime festivities!

A Word About Peppermint Essential Oil

*You can find peppermint essential oil at just about any health store or in the health section of many grocery stores. It is a fabulous oil to have on hand for home remedies (nothing treats a headache better). I added it to the Whipped Coconut Body Butter not only because it smells Christmas-y, but because peppermint essential oil increases circulation, restores tired feet and legs after too much shopping, soothes achy joints, treats heartburn and stomach yuckiness from eating too many Christmas goodies, and even helps to fight the colds that could ruin Christmas morning.

All around, it’s great stuff.

Just know this: if you’re serious about using peppermint, or any other essential oil, be sure to educate yourself and purchase the highest-quality oil you can. Quality oils do not necessarily cost any more than the stuff you can pick up at any store, but they are created using techniques that ensure the highest potency, so it’s worth doing some homework. I purchase my oils at Rocky Mountain Oils but there are many great companies to choose from.