Kristen Anne Glover

Five in Tow

A Zero-Budget Christmas: Buying Second-hand

Zero-Budget Christmas

A Zero-Budget Christmas

Part 5: Shopping Second-hand

(or Kids’ Edition, Part 2)

In the early years, when we were growing our family, finishing degrees, and working lots of jobs for little pay, second-hand items saved my Christmases.

It was during those years I learned that a gift does not have to brand new to be thoughtful and delightful.

If you’ve been following along with our Zero-Budget Christmas series from the beginning, you will not be surprised to find out that for most of our marriage, nearly all of the presents we gave in our home were not purchased new.

To this day, one of the ways I make Christmas work is by embracing the idea of “new to you.”

“New to you” items are not purchased brand-new, but they are new to the recipient. They are things that delight the receiver but would be unattainable for the giver if purchased brand-new. This can include absolutely anything: toys, clothes, books, sporting goods, electronics—anything you can purchase new, you can find gently used.

The benefits of embracing a “new-to-you” gift-giving philosophy are numerous. First, this concept allows you to give thoughtfully and even lavishly on a zero-budget. That’s because the brand-new value that is assigned to an item by a marketer is paid for by the first buyer. The second buyer gets the same item without having to pay for the privilege of taking it out of the box.

Second, focusing on new-to-you breaks the cycle of disposable consumerism. We are a throw-away culture. If a child is tired of a toy, or the teen doesn’t like that new shirt, or Grandma gives the kids a stack of books they have no intention of reading, those things show up at the thrift store.

That means that many nearly brand-new items are available for pennies on the dollar because someone got bored of them, the item wasn’t quite “right,” or it was never wanted in the first place. Buying second-hand looks for the value beyond the box.

When we shop and give this way, we teach our children that the price tag and the flashy packaging is not what matters. It’s the value that remains after those things are gone that counts. If children can learn that during their early years, they will be much wiser consumers later in life.

Third, if you’re a mama of little ones, buying new-to-you is the most brilliant thing you can do because most of the time, those gifts come unwrapped and pre-assembled! Can I get a “Hallelujah!” for not needing a screwdriver, pliers, a sturdy scissors, or a chainsaw on Christmas morning to get your two-year-old’s dump truck out of the box. Amen!

Many parents take gifts out of the packaging before wrapping them for this very reason. Well, if this is your habit, let me tell you: your child will not know if you unwrapped a new present or gave them a new-to-them present, and they won’t care. They’ll just be delighted with the gift.

New to you

So, are you ready to get started? If you’re not currently a thrifty shopper, or even if you are, here are some ways to find the gifts your family needs, second-hand:

  • Shopping new-to-you requires a little more planning than retail shopping because you can’t control what you’ll find. I keep a running list of ideas for each child, and because we only purchase one or two “want” gifts each year, that keeps my options open.
  • If you’re on zero-budget, don’t settle for retail thrift store prices. Watch for sales! Savers (or Value Village, depending on region), Goodwill, and many other franchises will have 50% off days or other promotions. I keep a running list of the things my kids need and wait for a sale. Many stores will also give coupons if you donate, so be sure to ask.
  • Check out independent thrift stores, like those run by churches. In my experience, these stores have better prices, more helpful staff, and are generally cleaner and better organized than the chain stores.
  • Thred Up and other online clothing consignment shops allow you to search for specific brands, sizes, and even quality. You can search “New with Tags” to find amazing deals. These stores tend to be pricier than brick-and-mortar thrift stores, but they also have better, more consistent inventory. Plus, the convenience of a search feature when shopping for clothing cannot be underestimated. If you do not have an account with Thred Up, use this link to get $10 off your first order. Sign up for their e-mail list and you’ll also get a discount code for a percentage off. As we have already mentioned, you can even donate to earn credit for purchases.
  • Host a gift-swap. Get your friends together and have everyone bring their gently used toys, books, clothes, and giftables to swap. Fuel the fun with cookies and cocoa and barter away. Everyone will exchange used toys with “new-to-you” gifts to give–truly a zero-budget option.
  • Put out an SOS on social media. This is one of the best ways to find specific gifts at a great price. If you have a child who loves American Girl dolls, Thomas trains, electronics, or anything with a name brand, ask your village! Need electronics for your teen? Ask the people you know and trust. You’d be surprised at what people are just getting ready to upgrade or have sitting around. They will willingly and reasonably sell or even give their stuff to you so they don’t have to bother with finding another taker.

buying second-hand toys

  • Search Craigslist and Ebay for specific things like sporting goods or brand-name toys. Craigslist has been a better source for second-hand items for me than Ebay, since many professional Ebay sellers keep prices just as high (and often higher) than you can find retail. But Ebay is still the source for collectibles, retired toys, or limited editions, and it comes with certain buyer protections, which Craigslist does not have.
  • Search for local sales pages on social media, and join! Many towns, cities, and community groups have sales pages. If you don’t see something you’re looking for, ask! You may even be able to arrange delivery for large items.

Have you implemented a new-to-you Christmas gift-giving strategy in your home? I’d love to hear what has worked for you so we can be a little more savvy this year. Tell us in the comments!

*To begin reading A Zero-Budget Christmas from the beginning, start here.

**During this series, affiliate links may be included for your convenience.

 

 

 

A Zero-Budget Christmas: Kids’ Edition

Zero-Budget Christmas

A Zero-Budget Christmas:

Kids’ Edition, Part 1

Welcome back to the fourth post in our special series A Zero-Budget Christmas! If you’re just joining us, you can find the very first post here.

Today, we’re talking about how to shop for kids when money is tight.

Since all of our children were born during our thirteen years of “skinny Christmases,” I know how agonizing it can be to watch the Christmas season swoop in and to have no idea how you’re going to make any magic happen on a zero-budget.

The next two posts are intended to help you provide a great Christmas for the ones who have your heart: your children.

Consider the ages of your children.

My daughter was less than four months old on her first Christmas.  She had no idea what was going on, and yet I  had a deep desire to buy presents for her. We had no money for extras that year, but I felt unloving, even negligent, to fail to purchase a gift for her.

Moms, we have a soft spot for our babies, and that is right and good, but we need to realize that it is not unloving to wait to buy gifts for our children until they are old enough to receive them with understanding. That just makes sense.

zero-budget Christmas kids
At four months old, my daughter was happy to look at the Christmas lights and gnaw on her fist. So even though it was hard for me, we saved our money and didn’t purchase any gifts for her that year, or the next. And she never knew the difference.

If you cannot bear the idea of not buying your child a present, remember this: very young children are delighted with one or two new toys (and by new, I mean new to them; more on that later in the series) and overwhelmed by much more. Don’t give them more than they can handle just because our culture says you should.

Elementary-aged children have more specific desires than toddlers, but their gifts are generally cheaper than those of older teens. Companies often run great specials during the holidays on toys for this age group because they hope that once you’re in the store for the cheap Barbie, you’ll pick up an Xbox too.

If you are careful not to fall for the bait, you can take advantage of the deals and give yourself more money to work with when finding gifts for the hardest age group of all: older kids and teenagers who have very specific hobbies or interests. Parse your money out wisely by spending little to nothing on the youngest (we’ll talk about how to do that next time) so you have more for the oldest.

Budget gifts

Don’t do it all!

The first Christmas after my twins were born was one of our leanest. I had five kids ages six and under. Three were in diapers.

One day, our pastor’s wife pulled up and unannounced, “Don’t let the kids come out here!” Her trunk was full of toys and clothes for the kids that she had been squirreling away whenever she found a good deal. That year, Christmas was from Mrs. Cara, and I will never forget it.

Mama, it’s okay to let someone else steal your thunder on Christmas morning. I know you wish you could do more for your kids. But instead of feeling guilty or inadequate, turn your eyes up to God who sometimes uses other people to bless us, and be grateful for them.

Even if you don’t have a Mrs. Cara in your life, keep in mind that your children will often receive gifts from family members and friends. You may realize that one or two presents from you is more than enough to round things out. Or, you can supplement with more practical items that are easier on the budget.

Be “unfair.”

This one might ruffle some feathers, but I believe it’s important.

One of the lies parents believe is that we must spend the same amount of money on each of our kids in order to be “fair” and avoid any smack of favoritism. This idea can lead us to spend more than we should in an attempt to keep things even.

The truth is, we should not feel obligated to treat our children the same. They are not the same. Even my twins are not the same, and I would be foolish to try to parent them in an identical way!

I would also be foolish to try to buy gifts for them in the same way. At different ages and seasons, children will have different needs and interests. Sometimes, gifts for one will be more expensive than others. Other times, a child might get more presents than another because he has needs or unique interests the others just don’t have. That’s okay!

Budget Gift giving

We make it a habit in our home to rejoice with those who rejoice–even if that person got a really great gift and we didn’t. We try not to compare our blessings with theirs. Having a bit of an unequal Christmas gives us plenty of opportunities to practice that in a loving setting.

Now, we don’t purposely exasperate our children. Our kids always feel abundantly loved and cared about at Christmas. (I asked them).

But the fact remains, sometimes Christmas is not “fair.” Life is not fair.

Even our heavenly Father does not treat all of his children the same. We are unique, special individuals, and that means that sometimes, another one of his kids gets more than us. Don’t be afraid of that—like everything else God does, it is for our own eternal good.

Being “unfair” can be very good for you and your kids as well as long as you communicate how entirely loved and valued they are. And that has nothing to do with the amount of money spent or the number of gifts under the tree.

In fact, that has nothing to do with money at all.

*To begin reading A Zero-Budget Christmas from the beginning, start here.

**During this series, affiliate links may be included for your convenience. Thank you for supporting this ministry!

 

A Zero-Budget Christmas: A Little Perspective

Zero-Budget Christmas

A Zero-Budget Christmas

2: A little Christmas perspective

Mothers are amazing. Most healthy mothers, no matter their financial status, will do whatever it takes to meet their kids’ needs. They take extra jobs, learn how to stretch a budget, and give up their own personal comfort for the benefit of their children.

What is even more amazing is that most mothers really don’t mind doing any of this because it’s for their kids.

But at Christmas, the disparity between the families who have plenty and the ones who are just scraping by seems a little wider. Mothers who otherwise “make it work” and carry a sense of pride in how they manage to care for their children, suddenly feel the sharpness of lack.

As someone who has been there, allow me say this: there is a massive difference in knowing you are not rich and feeling poor. No one likes to feel poor.

Maybe you know that feeling too, and you are looking for a better way to make it through the season. Fortunately, this series is here to help. I’ve learned lots of tips and tricks over the years as my husband and I have raised five kids on a shoestring.  The great news is, you can make Christmas magical on a zero-budget.

I introduced this series by telling you our Christmas story.

Now, before we do anything else, we’re going to put Christmas in perspective. Stick with me here–I am not trying to get out of giving you actual, practical advice on how to make Christmas work when money is limited. That’s coming.

But I would be negligent in my care of you if I did not start with some important fundamentals. I can tell you how to do more with less money, but nothing will change for you unless you understand your motivation for giving and learn how to protect your heart from manipulation.

If you do not get this, you will spend the rest of your Christmases running the same frantic race, no matter what your budget, because you will believe that if you don’t do it right, you will have failed.

That is not the better way.

toy truck with Christmas tree

 

Still, it’s the path many of us end up taking because we love our kids, and our heart’s desire is to make sure they feel that love every day. Usually, that means smiles and hugs and making pancakes once in a while, but at Christmas, the cultural expectation in our time in history is that we show love through lavish gift-giving.

This has not always been the case, of course. If you’ve ever read through Little House in the Big Woods, you might remember what Mary and Laura and the cousins received on Christmas morning: a peppermint stick and new, red mittens.  Laura alone got a new, handmade doll that Ma made from fabric scraps, but Mary didn’t because she already had one.

Times have changed! Now, even our expectations have expectations: try giving any kid the same gifts Mary and Laura got and you’ll see what I mean. What has changed is marketing. We have it. They didn’t. Every single product sold in every single store is run through a fine-tuned system developed to capitalize on our human emotions of greed, pride, and guilt.

And it works. According to research, the average American plans to spend nearly $1000 on gifts in 2016!  Parents are anticipating spending an average of $422 per child.

If you are on a limited or nearly zero-budget, those expectations sink you. You can feel like a failure because you cannot meet those expectations without endangering your family’s finances.

Budget Christmas

But you have to realize this: shame is one of the emotions the marketing industry loves best because it motivates you to spend more than you should to make it go away. That is manipulation, plain and simple, and once you call it out, it makes it easier to fight back.

We have to be smarter than the industry and secure enough in our financial choices to make decisions in December that won’t haunt us in January. We need to choose the better things, and I don’t mean higher-quality products.

One of the best ways to do that is to stay conscious of the higher goal. It’s easy to fall victim to the social pressure to give our kids a great Christmas (whatever we think that means) because it echoes our natural inclination. We delight in giving good gifts to our children. That is a fragment of God in us.

The trouble is, we take it to extremes. If we’re not careful, our desire to give our children good gifts can prevent them from receiving an even better gift: contentment.

We have to remind ourselves that our goal as parents should never be to give our kids everything they want, but rather, to help our kids be content with whatever they have.

We say we believe that, but when we begin to fear our children’s disappointment, find ourselves getting a sense of pride or identity in the gifts we give, become consumed with finding the “right” gift or giving “enough” presents, chances are, we’re pursuing happiness rather than fostering contentment in ourselves and in our children.

Don’t get me wrong-happiness is nice. I will not argue with that. But it’s like a cubic zirconium: lots of sparkle with little lasting value.

Contentment is the diamond.

zero-budget-Christmas-2

Having a right Christmas perspective means seeking contentment over happiness

Remember that when you’re standing in the toy aisle or adding items to your Amazon cart. You can completely blow your budget to give your kids happiness, but it will not last. Or, you can choose to stay within the budget that best fits the long-term goals of your family and work on fostering contentment instead.

One will begin to pay dividends in January. The other will leave you with a deficit. Either way, you choose.

Make the better choice, and no matter what your budget is, you will always have the best gift.

Next time, we’ll talk about ways to grow a zero-budget into some workable Christmas capital. If you’ve been wishing you had just a little more money to work with, you won’t want to miss it! You’ll be surprised at easy it is to do the very things you’re already doing but make money doing it!

*To begin A Zero-Budget Christmas series at the beginning, click here.

**During this series, affiliate links may be included for your convenience. Thank you for supporting this ministry!