“Are they all yours?” the woman in the checkout line asked.
“Yes, they’re all mine!” I said as I lugged two milk jugs onto the conveyor belt.
“Don’t you think that’s…irresponsible?” she asked. I noticed my older two children looking up at her, soaking in every word. “I mean, don’t you care?”
“Of course I do,” I said carefully, trapping other words that threatened to spill out along with those four. I barred them in with a smile I didn’t feel. “I care about lots of things.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she huffed. “Don’t you care about the environment? Don’t you care about the fact that you’re using more than your share of resources?”
It was a question flavored with accusation. I had heard it more than once since the twins were born from people withered by greed and a sneaky kind of selfishness that passes itself off as responsibility.
I was a woman with a big family, and big families are not in vogue anymore, especially in this very progressive part of the country. She felt it her obligation to tell me so.
I ruffled my son’s hair and didn’t say anything. I wanted to tell her the story and share a little bit of the justification for why I had five children in the first place, starting with the fact that it was not my idea.
But mostly, I wanted to tell her that my children are not a strain on this world. They are not a hindrance, a plague, or a pest. They do not make it a habit to eat more than their share of the pie.
My children are little stewards, little princes and princesses of a mighty kingdom. They are going to grow up to be kind caretakers of this land and humble servants to its people because that is what they were made to be. They were chosen for that role, along with all the King’s children, not by the will of man, but by the kind intention of the Creator-God who made my children to rule over His creation with the same kind of kindness with which He rules over us.
As my children learn to love their King, the more they will be able to perceive the hand of God in it. They will understand that this world and all the life it contains is worthy of protection because God made it and declared it so.
God’s face is all over this world, and the King’s children are the few who will know it when they see it.
I looked at the woman in line behind me and I realized that her kingdom was crumbling. She did not know how not to die, how not to burn out and be used up and wasted like the earth she thought we threatened. She grasped and clawed for a life she could not keep and clung to an earth that could not save.
“What do you think would happen if everyone had kids like you?” she demanded.
I smiled. This was a question I could answer. “I think, if everyone had kids like me, the world would be a better place. Because I am doing my very best to make sure that my children are exactly the kind of people this world needs more of.”
The woman stared at me.
I leaned in a little and said, “I’m giving you, and this earth, the very best I have.”
On this beautiful day, I am thankful for the ability to raise up caretakers of God’s great earth, little Adams and little Eves who will care for this kingdom long after I am gone. I am thankful that in leaving this earth to my children, I am leaving it better than I found it.
I love this!! We have four young kiddos (under the age of five), and I’m 8 weeks from having baby #5…the looks are unbelievable, and the comments…seriously….and right in front of them…people sometimes don’t think!! Thank you for this wonderful post, with my hormones raging :), I sometimes forget that these people really do need the Lord, and that they are not just “attacking” me. God Bless you!
I looked at the woman in line behind me and I realized that her kingdom was crumbling. She did not know how not to die, how not to burn out and be used up and wasted like the earth she thought we threatened. She grasped and clawed for a life she could not keep and clung to an earth that could not save.
Wow.
Thank you for changing my perspective.
I actually saw a similar comment to the ones this woman said to you on a blog post the other day, and I was (naively) surprised that someone would even have the gumption to imply that a tree is more important than a human life.
When I think about how lost/confused they are without a Biblical basis for truth, though, it doesn’t surprise me too much I suppose.
No one here in E. Texas is “environmentally conscious” enough to use that as a reason for objecting to my large brood, but I still get plenty of comments, some of them rude–and I think your answer about raising children who will make the world a better place by being wise stewards of it is just applicable in many of those scenarios.
Way to be Jesus to that lady! She obviously needed it!
Oh, good answers! I feel like smacking her upside her head!
Good answer, Kristin.
I think God keeps people like that away from me on purpose, because I would have given her a very loud reply. How incredibly rude to say something like that.
Naughty me! I think I would have retorted the resources comment with , “No, I only allow two squares of toilet paper per visit, but thank you for being concerned!”
wonderful story I can relate I have been in this situation just recently with my five littles a lady asking some of the same questions as your lady did
was very rude and in my face but before I could say anything to her I had people from all around me jumping in to help me a couple people from my church were there also and gave their 2 cents towards the situation and the lady just gasped there was 12 or more people talking to her I really could’nt say anything.
I just smiled because to be loved by your community and the things they were saying about my family did make me feel proud.
I have and am working very hard to raise my boys right I am 24 years old and have worked through school, I help run my fathers buisness, I help in the shelters in my community and all the veggies and fruit I grow in my garden go to the food bank ( except for what I keep to feed my five ) I don’t do it to get anything in return I don’t need a slap on the back or a gold star. I just stood there and listened to everything they were saying to this lady all of the above… and was in shock I guess ……. my community held me like a baby they all made sure I was ok and went on with their day .( guess what word spreads fast in small towns lol )
there was a lot said to this woman and I hope she thinks before she judges a book by it’s cover again.
I love my small town
Bravo!
Amen. Kristie. Yes you are!!!!
Oooh! I do have to share the one rude (but hilarious) comment I loved:
I was picking my eldest up from school when she started Kindergarten. The teacher at the car-rider line opened the van door and peered in at my then-4yr old, almost 3yr old, and newborn and asked, “Oh! Do you run a day-care?”
I actually had to laugh at that.
(We’ve decided to public school along with extended education at home…including “Faith Education”. It’s something we decided would invest in our community, potentially influence our children’s peers, and benefit our children. I try to volunteer a lot at the school too. We live in a rather poor community and a large number of the children at school are children of or decedents of migrant workers. Though I had originally intended to home school, I felt, very strongly, that our family was being called to invest in the local school and community.)
I’ve only four children…and I’ve heard similar. I think our (as in 1st-world) culture just doesn’t value children. They are often not viewed as God-given blessings, but as a “check-mark” on the list of things you are “supposed” to do in life. To be clear, this is not a critique of your story of your Faith. Where a person’s heart lies in regards to their OWN family planning is something else. But, I have seen, frequently, where OTHERS make judgments on how many children people should have, what gender-ratios they should aim for, if their kids should be welcome in places, etc.
I’ve met many adults who seem to consider children “objects” that are following me around. I was asked when I was preggo with my third (1st boy) “So you’re done now that you have your boy, right?” Like a boy was my goal in life. Like I cared about the gender. Like they had any business at all making such conclusions. The sheer number of rude questions I fielded when pregnant with my fourth was astounding (my eldest was 5 at the time, the second was 3, my third was 2). And I STILL have people ask me…IN FRONT of my kids…if my boys have the same father (one has chocolate colored eyes and brown curly hair while the other is straight-blond with blue eyes). Like *that* is okay to do? My kids don’t even know how someone would have the same mother and a different father. Or do strangers think it’s okay to put doubt in my children’s minds about whether they “belong” with my family or not?
Thank you for your post. I think I may add “pray for a bridled tongue and God’s grace and words when put in such situations.” I’ve always just stammered out a shocked answer and walked away.
Bless your heart! I could not have had the grace or dignity you shared – grrrrr… People are so RUDE!
Maybe not meant to be funny but really brought some humor to my day!
ha ha ha… okay, it wasn’t supposed to be funny- but really, people make me laugh with their ignorance. And also I feel sorry for people who say and do rude things. It is just a peek into their heart. But really- using more than their fair share of resources? I mean, what- they eat more than the average person? use more toilet paper? what is that comment supposed to mean? I know a lot of people who use “more than their fair share of resources” and they do not necessarily come from large families!
And you are right- you and many of us- are raising children to be the kind of Godly inhabitants it needs. A more educated person would realize that sadly first world populations are in decline and third world cultures (not to knock them, I am a missionary in a third world country) with less work ethic, less integrity, and no knowledge of God are on a rise. We truly do need to do more to populate the Earth with God fearing children, whether we birth them
, adopt them, or convert them……
Great post, thank you! I have four children and often get comments asking if they are all mine and did I know what “caused” that. I’m not sure if sometimes people think they are being funny but it’s rude. You did much better handling this than I would have! You children are wonderful and you are an amazing mom!
Christina
Uhm, I love this. I’m sending it on to my sister-in-law… 🙂
I didn’t know people in this day and age could make such unkind remarks on children! You handled it well Kristin. Reminds me of my mum who had 9 children in tow. She would walk down the street, people would stare and some remarked on how she managed. My mum being the person she is, took it all in calmly. We kids would observe this. Kirstin I love your stories, it touches my heart. God bless you and your lovely family <3
The nerve! Kristin, you are a far better woman than I. My story would not have ended so polite, and I’m sure my feathers would have been ruffled for quite some time.
AMEN!
That was an excellent post today. Thanks so much for sharing it. I really enjoyed reading it very much. I’ll be sure to pass it along.
Have a great day.
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