New to the series? Find Day 1 here.
These are the peanut butter and jam-filled days, when young children fill your home and occupy your time. There are sticky fingers and sticky floors and sticky jam in your hair. But there are also sandwiches that taste like warm summer berries and sunshine, and you can spread out your blanket and stay awhile, if you want.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
Either you can get bogged down in the sticky mess of smeared jam or you can taste the sweetness of the berries. It’s just that simple. Perspective is the way you view your circumstances, and perspective has a lot to do with whether you enjoy your children—or not.
Some days, when my eyes are on my to-do list and my mind is filled with thoughts of how much happier I’d be if my circumstances changed, the inconveniences of motherhood get to me. I think about my idealized, glossy-magazine view of motherhood (which has never materialized), and I wonder if I have been cheated, somehow. Surely, it has to be better than this.
On those selfish, bitter days, I do not enjoy my children. It’s hard to enjoy them when secretly, in the depths of my heart, I view the circumstances of motherhood as an obstacle to More Important Stuff. The toddler’s tantrums keep me from getting More Important Stuff done. The Princess who unpacks her entire dresser looking for the tutu that was in the wash destroys the More Important Stuff I’ve already done. The twins’ fighting over a toy prevents me from carrying on a phone conversation with the More Important Person and the endlessly misplaced shoes keep me from getting to More Important Places on time.
From this perspective, it seems the whole of motherhood is an obstacle to my happiness: one big, sticky, jam-filled obstacle.
But other days, I remember that my goal in life is not to be happy. Or organized. Or on time. It is to be holy. To that end, God has orchestrated every circumstance of every day for my own good, to draw me nearer to Himself and to change me into His likeness. Every circumstance has my refinement in mind, even motherhood. Especially motherhood.
Because it is in motherhood that I have the opportunity not only to be like Christ, but to demonstrate Christ to my children. Day after day, under this roof with these children, I have the opportunity to be Jesus passing out the leftovers, Jesus holding babies and breaking up arguments, Jesus washing stinky feet, Jesus who is never too busy to be touched, never too busy to be needed. I even have the opportunity to be Jesus, filled with power and overcoming this world of spilled milk and spaghetti stains, if I let him.
From this perspective, there are no obstacles. There is nothing mundane, nothing insignificant, nothing lost. There is nothing beneath me than was farther beneath Christ. If I stoop at all, it is to stoop to be where He is, down in the dirt struggling with the dailyness of the cross. It changes how I look at my circumstances. It changes me.
When I understand that I can show Christ more by wiping sticky jam off sticky faces than I ever could by living a glossy mothering magazine life, I find contentment. I find joy, and I am able to enjoy my children. They are not inconveniences or obstacles to my happiness. They are a daily opportunity for me to clothe the Word of God in flesh—my flesh. They are a daily opportunity for me to rise above my circumstances and live out in real actions—my actions—what love really is.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
Hello, Mom! My name is Opportunity.
For further thought
1) How does the humility of Christ transform your view of your circumstances? Read Philippians 2:1-16.
2) Can God be more glorified in the humble acts of motherhood than in the perfectionism we seek? Consider 2 Corinthians 4:5-18 as it applies to the ministry of motherhood. How would your home change if you considered every circumstance of every day as an opportunity to clothe the truth of God in your flesh?
3) As you go about your day today, may you be strengthened by this prayer of the apostle Paul, which is also my prayer for you: “[May] you be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.” –Colossians 1:9b-12
Please join us tomorrow for Day 3: Priorities.
Love these so far! Great job:) Such an enouragement.
Thank you Andrea!
Such a good reminder!! I am a mom of 5 as well (first 2 are twins!) and life can be just so busy and overwhelming. Needed to hear. Thanks!
You are a brave woman,having three more kids after twins. 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
I really appreciatethe reading from Philippians. I have to force the grumbling away. Especially in our ‘twisted generation’ trying to raise Christ-like children in a society that wont apprecite it. Also with the demand of the state on my time with my children and requierements trying to fit it all in. I have really had to losen my hold and more often than not find myself aying, “Oh well!”
Food for thought
This post is so refreshing. I am definitely convicted. I love the part about being Jesus. I just tweeted about being thankful for opportunities to give, but I wasn’t even thinking about opportunities to give to my children. I love your style! Great Post.
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!! Thank u SOOO much for sharing!!!
Thanks so much for this post. The reminder that my goal is to be holy was timely. For some reason Mr Almost Nine was extra grumpy for hours – certainly an inconvenience of motherhood. It was so tempting to join him. I am sure I could outgrump him. I can say that I didn’t ‘enjoy’ him through it, but with the goal to be holy, I sure managed him better. Thankfully later in the day his mood changed. Thanks for helping me through a difficult day
All I can say is “Wow”! This was both a rebuke and an encouragement to me. As a fellow-mom of 5, with twins, I spend a lot of time just doing, not really living. I struggle with this so much, so thank you for the reminder to look up and to let Christ dwell in me. If my kids grow up and remember only Christ, not a clean house or an organized life, I will have done my job well!
This was so needed and so good! Thank you!
I know that this is only Day Two, but I really think that at the end of the thirty days, you should take all these posts and make them into a book. Truly. You communicate these truths so well and they are something every mama needs to hear.
Amen sometimes I forget to look at motherhood in this way, my daughter is a gift from God to be cherished and shown how to grow up in his light.
I have read your last 2 blog post and you always seen to hit the nail on the head! What you post always seems to be what I need to hear at that exact moment! Thank you for bringing me back to Christ. I am a mom of 3 boys 3 and under and I find myself needing encouragement daily ( if not hourly) and your blog has really grounded me and helped me look at the big picture! I can’t thank you enough!
Nice to meet you, Janice! You are in the busiest days right now, aren’t you? It’s amazing that you have time to read anything! Thank you for your encouragement to me. It truly is a privilege to be able to share my heart, strange sense of humor, and daily experiences with all of you!
In reading this I’m reminded that happines is a choice. I CHOOSE to be happy, joyful, content. To believe that all things truly do work together for good, To believe that God gave me these children for a reason, one of which is to love them with all my heart just as He loves me, because through my love (imperfect as it is) they will see His love. And who wants to be hugged by a glossy mom that you can’t really touch for fear of smudging her anyway!
It’s so true! Every day, we have a choice to choose selfishness or selflessness, and I am most happy (and my kids are most happy) when I chose the later.
Ephesians 3:16-21
Amen! I’ll take that as a prayer for ME!
Just found your blog. As a missionary out in the field motherhood can get quite lonely- I am glad to know that my struggles are the same as every body’s regardless of geography or spiritual maturity! Thanks for being such an encouragement.
Where are you serving, Sarah? Thank you for being willing. I am an MK, and one thing I realized growing up is that the human condition is the same throughout the world. My husband always reminds me that my circumstances will not change my heart. It is so true!
I have a redhead too and this picture in the high chair really brought back so many memories. What a doll!
He is a little sweetie! But he’s also my messiest eater–still!
Beautiful!!!!! I’m a Grammy now, who so wishes she could do over some of those years when my To Do List was more important than getting down on the floor with my kids.
I need those reminders from all the grandmas! I think I’m afraid that if I get down on the floor with the kids, I might not be able to get back up. 😉
Truly! And not because of your creaky back, but because you’ll be piled upon by kiddos, I’m thinkin’.
Exactly!
Amen to that post!!! Sometimes we spend to much time worry about the mess’s then enjoying our kids. Thank u!!!
Thanks for joining me!
All I can say is thankyou. That was exactly what I needed this morning.
Praise God!
Hi Can I reprint you in the homeschool newsletter? Send a short bio
Sent from my iPhone
Why, that would be fabulous! I’ll message you with the bio I have for MOPS groups because it’s short and sweet.
great post and reflection. I would say, tho, that true holiness IS happiness. We lack happiness when we are off of our true path. Also, perfectionism is an idol of the heart…a heart that has yet to know the love of God. These are just my opinions…and I obviously know nothing because I thought Romney would win by a landslide!
Absolutely. We cannot put happiness before holiness because we can’t pursue our self-interests before the interests of God. But, if we put holiness first, we find true joy.
Great, great post. Thank you.
Thanks for reading!
Amen! I am daily challenged to let go of things I think are important to sit and enjoy the time with my little guys.
Thank you, Beth! You have some great little guys to enjoy!