Kristen Anne Glover

Five in Tow

Birth Order Explained: It’s Your Mother’s Fault

Many smart people have spent many long years researching a strange phenomenon related to birth order.  The theory goes something like this: your personality is directly impacted by your birth order.  If you’re the firstborn, you tend to be a certain way.  If you’re the youngest, you tend to be another way.  I’m no psychologist, but I can assure you, it’s all true, and it all goes back to your mother.  May the good Lord help you if you were born after number five.

The Metamorphosis of Motherhood

After your first child

After your third child

Sometime after your fifth child

Maternity clothes are so cute!

I can’t wait to get back into my normal clothes.

These are my normal clothes.

Jake, come here!

Jake, I mean Susie, come here!

You—come here!  No, not you.  You!  Yes, you!  If I say “you,” I mean you!

Look at the homemade costume I made for you!

Let’s see what’s left at the costume store.

Here’s some aluminum foil and a Sharpie.

What would you like for dinner?

This is what we’re having for dinner.

If you don’t eat the casserole, it’s going in the soup for tomorrow.

Don’t eat that off the floor!

The floor isn’t that dirty.

Get it before your brother does.

Your birthday is only a month away!  We’d better start planning.

I forgot candles.  I’ll hold up five fingers and you can blow them out.

No, I didn’t forget your birthday.  It’s called a “surprise party.”

Would you like to learn soccer, karate, piano, origami, French pastry making, Spanish, or water polo?

You’re taking ballet because your sister takes ballet.

There are lots of great cartoons on in the afternoons for kids your age.

Let’s pick up before Daddy gets home.

Let’s pick up before Grandma comes.

Let’s just move.

Let me help you!

Let me know if you need my help.

You don’t need my help.

I’ve created a wish list of educational toys for Timmy’s first Christmas.  It includes all the Newberry award-winning books, a baby biology set, Latin fridge magnets, and a planetary motion crib mobile.

Don’t buy him anything that makes noise, needs batteries, might choke the baby, or requires parental supervision.

Just give us the money.

My husband wrote me a love note and rubbed my feet!

He watched the kids so I could go to the grocery store by myself!

He vacuumed!!!

We need to childproof the house.

How come the baby is the only one who can open the baby gate?

He’ll only do it once.

Please put on your new shirt.

Please put on a clean shirt.

At least you’re dressed.

I will never be one of those mothers.

I feel sorry for those mothers.

I am one of those mothers!

I didn’t know I could love anyone like this.

I didn’t know my love could multiply like this.

There’s always room to love one more.

Monogram Wall Art Project

I’ve been sitting on the couch nursing a severe ankle injury ALL WEEK.   Seven days and counting.  Bored…bored…bored.

It was time for an intervention.  Or a project!

I had a little 8″x8″ canvas (perfect for painting on whilst sitting on the couch!).  I wanted to make a unique family monogram: G for our last name, 7 for the number of family members.  Here’s the finished product so you know what I’m talking about:

 

This is what I did to make it.

1) I cut pieces of newspaper the width of my frame (this particular canvas is 2″ thick) to decoupage the edges for extra interest.

2) I brushed modge podge all over and affixed the newspaper to the edges, then brushed another layer over the top to secure it.   If you don’t have modge podge, you can make your own!  Just mix equal parts white school glue and water.  Presto!  It works beautifully.

3) While the decoupage dried, I printed my monogram.  I created an 8″ text box in Word, then typed in my G with the 7 as a footnote.  I used Baskerville Old font, blown up to 450 pt.   The text box was helpful because I could easily cut out the monogram in the exact size of my canvas and position it exactly where I wanted it with no measuring required.

4) I needed to transfer my monogram to my canvas, but didn’t have any transfer paper, and I can’t walk.  Or drive.  So, no last-minute craft store runs for me!   Fortunately, it’s easy to transfer images simply by covering the back of the image with pencil.  You can even have your kids do this part!

5) Flip the image back over, tape it to your canvas, and trace along the outlines.

6) You can’t see it very well in this picture, but the outline of my monogram transferred easily.  All I had to do was fill it in with black paint!  I used a small, angled brush and black acrylic paint.  Super easy.  Take your time and it will come out perfectly.

When the paint dried, I added a few extra layers of newspaper to the edges for interest.  That’s it!

Eventually, this will be hanging as part of a photo collage I’m working on.  I wanted a bold graphic to unify all the images of our faces.  But for now, it’s opposite a large clock with Roman Numerals where it looks quite nice (although the nail is a little high, but I can’t stand long enough to hammer a new hole, so it will have to stay there for now).  I couldn’t get a picture of the whole wall, so you’ll just have to take my word on it.   I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.  Not bad for an invalid!

Better yet, the entire project cost less than $4 and took about an hour to complete (drying time not included). 

Planning to make a monogram like this one?  I’d love to know how your project turns out!