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Kristen Anne Glover

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Enough with Grace

Resolutions

Dear Me,

A few weeks ago, you wrote out a couple of New Year’s resolutions.  They were fierce. 

You said you were going to cut back on Facebook and focus on being present with your family.  You were going to keep your sink clean and work out every day.  You were going to get up early and be more intentional with your time so you could be a better steward of your gifts.  You were not, not, not going to get frustrated with your beginning readers during homeschool time, even if it takes all year before they can distinguish between “a” and “the”.

Triplets reading

So.  How are things going?

I imagine some things are going pretty well.  After all, you’re pretty tenacious when you have a mind to be, and it’s not really that hard to clean the sink.

Other things are not going so well.  Those resolutions you made because you don’t like your body or the way your career is going or how easily you fritter away the time?  Those are the ones that matter, and those resolutions are the ones you’re struggling with, aren’t they?  You put in a good two or three days, but already, things are starting to slide.

Might I offer you a suggestion, since I know you so well?

Stop giving yourself grace.

You heard me: enough with the grace.

It sounds almost unholy, but there is no room for grace when you are attempting to change bad habits or establish new, healthy ones.  There isn’t.

You have to give that new discipline time to take root, and quite honestly, it’s barely sprouted. 

January

After all, we’re only fifteen days into January.  You’ve successfully made good on your commitment to workout for what, two weeks now?

I have news for you: you have not yet earned the grace you so readily offer yourself.

In order for grace to be grace, it has to be the exception, not the rule.  You have to get out of bed day, after day, after day, after day and do the thing you set out to do before you can play the grace card.

Grace comes after the law has been established.  Not before.

Otherwise grace is not grace at all, but license, license to do the very thing you have declared to be destructive to your health and happiness and license to ignore the things you know will make your life better.

Let me ask you this: Do you really want to give yourself permission to keep the parts of your life that aren’t working?  Do you really want to stay ineffective, irresponsible, and unproductive?   Do you really want to settle for a life that’s less than it could be?

Snooze Button

Well, then, go ahead and accept the consolation of so-called grace.  I’ll even give you some grace-laced phrases to help you out.  Look yourself in the mirror and say, “I’m just going to ease into it,” or “I’ll start tomorrow,” or “Our homeschool day really isn’t so bad.”

Go ahead.  Give yourself permission to violate the very standard you have set for yourself.   Blame it on circumstances.  Blame it on the kids.   Blame it on whatever you want, just don’t take responsibility for it yourself.

Because if you want to live an ineffective life, I promise, the best way to do it is to keep on accepting defeat as coincidental, circumstantial, or outside of your control.  Keep on giving yourself the grace of excuses. 

But if you want to change your life, stop it.

Stop giving yourself that kind of grace. 

Do not use the circumstances of your life

as an excuse

not to change the circumstances of your life.

It’s not like your circumstances are really that unique.  Everyone has trouble getting up in the morning.  Everyone is tempted to eat chocolate instead of salad.  Everyone is busy.  Can you think of one circumstance of yours that is so much of an impairment, it leaves you impotent to change?

I didn’t think so.

Allow me to give you this exhortation: Do not be a victim of your circumstances.  You can choose to change or you can choose not to change, but know this: either way, you’re making a choice.

Oh, you say, not everything is my choice.  I did not choose to have this chronic insomnia or children with learning issues or a house that won’t clean itself.

No, you didn’t.  But you do choose what to do with them.  More importantly, you choose whether or not to let those immovable circumstances dictate all your other choices.  You choose to stay in the game and move the pieces you can, or you choose to quit.

You choose to get up when the alarm goes off whether you feel like it or not.  You can stay in bed and whine about how you didn’t sleep well last night and therefore should not be required to get up when you said you would, or you can remind yourself that many people have faced far greater challenges than you have, and have done far more with their lives in spite of it.

Resolutions

A person with no legs has run a marathon.  A deaf person has composed symphonies.  A paraplegic has taught herself to paint with her mouth because she cannot move her arms.  An exhausted mother has taught her severely autistic son to read.

They did not take the grace.

Today, you have the same choice.  Will you take the grace?  Or will you give your healthy patterns and behaviors to take root in your life?   You know what I’m hoping you’ll do.

I’m hoping you don’t take the grace. 

Sincerely,

You

Uncategorized 17 Comments

{27} The Ransom

The ransom

The ransom

The Ransom: Day 27 of 31 Days

For Day 1, click on the photo above

The Enchanter is crafty, and it takes a great deal of effort to sift the truth from the lies when he comes whispering in our ears.  But it is worth the fight because the ransom paid for us was so dear.   Only the precious blood of Christ could break the bonds of our sin-inheritance and grant to us, former enemies of God, the riches of His glory and the inheritance with the saints.

What an amazing grace.

31 Days, From Enemy to Heir 2 Comments

Grace and a Little Bit of Burnt Soup

This past week, I had the privilege of writing for my friend Shari over at Leaving a Legacy.  It’s a story about burnt soup and grace because sometimes, our kids show us more grace than we show ourselves, and it is all at once humbling and healing and beautiful.

Won’t you take a moment to join me there?  Just don’t plan on staying for dinner.

Homemade Valentine

While you’re at Shari’s place, you will want to read a bit about her journey.  I was drawn to Shari’s story because it is incredible.  She is a stage IV breast cancer survivor.  But she hasn’t just survived, she has overcome her illness and arrived at the other side with a clarity of purpose that inspires me to work more diligently to leave a legacy of faith to my own children.  It’s easy to lose sight of that, isn’t it?

But when you stare death in the face, the need becomes a little more urgent, and I find I want to surround myself with people who get that so I don’t forget it.  Shari is one of those people I’m keeping close.

If you’ve never visited Shari’s blog, now is the perfect time.  She has just begun a Wednesday series about her cancer story, which isn’t really a cancer story at all because the cancer doesn’t get the glory.  God does.  You will want to read it all, starting with day 1 here.

 

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I believe you can find grace for the mother you are and help to become the mother you long to be—a mom who has the freedom to choose the better things and enjoy her kids right now.

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