Variations on the Theme “Mom”
When you’re a new parent, you can’t wait to hear your baby say your name for the first time. “Say ma-ma! Say ma-ma!” you coach. You have no idea that in a few short months, and for the rest of your life, your little Muffin will use that single word like a machine gun in her budding linguistic arsenal. She will say it so many times and mean so many different things by it, you will begin to wonder why you were jealous when she said “da-da” first.
If you’re going to survive until your child reaches adulthood, you will need this guide.
The 10 Most Common Meanings for the Word Mom
Don’t encourage me. You have no idea what I’m going to do once I can say ma-ma.
- “Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma.”
Interpretation: Huh. She comes whenever I say that. Interesting…
Where you are, there I will be. And if I’m not, I’ll cry.
- “MommEEEEEEEEE!”
Interpretation: Don’t ever walk out of the room again! I thought you disappeared forever!
“Sibling” is Latin for “informant”
- “MOOOOOOOOOOM!”
Interpretation: I’m about to tatttttle on sommmmmeone!
I know you said “Yes?” three times, but how can I be sure you’re really listening?
- “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?”
FYI: I’m talking to you.
Genius at work
- “Ma-OMMM!”
Interpretation: I’m stuck. Again.
The louder I scream, the less it hurts
- “Ma-aha-aha-aha-aha-aha-mmm!”
Interpretation: Oh, the pain! Oh! I’m going to die! Can I have a cookie?
The bedwetting mask of shame.
- “Mom-UH.”
Interpretation: I can’t believe you mentioned bedwetting in front of Grandma. Again.
I’ve got her right where I want her.
- “MOoooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOM!”
Interpretation: I’m out of fishy crackers. And yes, both of my arms are broken.
- “Mom.”
Interpretation: You’re hopelessly misinformed. Allow me or Dad to educate you.
Lastly, the most dreaded “mom” of all:
- “Muh-ther!”
Interpretation: The party is so over. Keep this up and I might have to roll my eyes at you.
*This use of the word “mom” is reserved for those Special Forces known as Moms of Teenagers. Disregard if you have a son under 13 or a daughter under age 8.